Eight is ~NOT~ Enuf

Thank you for all the birthday greetings!

2010-03-12T23:36:00.000-06:00

Let's just say right off the bat that it was an....uhhm....interesting day. It wasn't what I would characterize as a fun birthday, nor would I care to ever repeat today's experiences on a subsequent birthday, but it was...well....interesting. :)

First thing this morning I had to get ready to go to the city for 2 appointments to fix different aspects of the van, because a family in our church is renting it next week to take their daughters and their friends on a ski trip to Colorado for Spring break. After we had our windshield replaced in January (due to Paul hitting a deer), the windshield quickly developed an air leak. The day it was installed it was cold and snowy, so the adhesive didn't set up correctly. Yeah, we should have known better than to schedule the replacement that day, but oh well....it has a lifetime warranty, so the repair today didn't cost anything.

The second scheduled repair wasn't totally necessary, but we thought it might be nice for the DVD player in the van to work for our renter's entertainment on the long trip to Colorado. Today was the only day this week that both auto shops could schedule the appointments, so I left all the little ones home with our more-than-capable teenage daughters in charge.

I had to leave home by 8:30 to make the first appointment, and even after taking an unexpected detour to clean up a mess on the little boys' carpet (don't ask), I was still on schedule. But then just as I was walking out the door, I saw that Jaden was sitting in a puddle of....well, for your sakes, I won't mention exactly *what* he was sitting in, but trust me, it wasn't a pretty sight. I quickly yelled for HELLLLLPPPPP!!!!, and then Jamye and I tag-teamed the clean-up....poor Jamye got the worst end of the deal (if that gives you any indication what sort of puddle I am referring to).

This setback put me a few minutes behind schedule, but I was able to make up the time by driving just a tad over the speed limit...yeah, I know, it's the little foxes that spoil the vine. I justified my rebellious behavior by thinking if I got pulled over and the officer saw on my driver's license that it was my birthday, he surely wouldn't be heartless enough to actually give me a ticket. ;) Thankfully, I didn't encounter a single cop on the way up or back.

The first appointment went fine, it was very quiet in the shop's waiting room, and the theater-style seating was comfortable and perfect for curling up with the historical fiction novel I had brought with me to read while I waited. The repair bill was a little more than we expected, but having a working DVD player in the van to keep the little ones entertained during long road trips is worth every penny.

I had just enough time between appointments to eat lunch, and I decided on a Chinese buffet on the other side of town. As I was filling my plate, I came across a dish I'd never seen or eaten before....spicy octopus. Feeling just a bit adventurous (since it was my birthday), I decided to go for it and try one.

Ok, so I'll admit, I'm pretty much a chicken when it comes to trying new foods...I'd never eaten lobster until my first official date with Paul on my birthday 23 years ago, when he took me to a upscale seafood restaurant in Colorado Springs. But back then I was young and "in love", so trying a new dish was exciting and romantic, whereas today, on my own and without a dining companion to impress, I was having a difficult time working up the courage to take a bite of the pathetic little creature looking up at me with such sad, soulful eyes. When I had finished off the entire plate except for the octopus, with its eight tiny little tentacles all curled in toward its body in self-protective gestures, I just didn't have the heart to consume it. I finally just pushed my plate away and said, "Rest in peace, little guy."

(Ok, so the picture is a little out of focus....use your imagination.)

After I paid the bill, I had just enough time to drive back to the downtown area for my second appointment. When I walked into the auto glass office, it was totally empty. I looked at the clock on the wall and was surprised to see I was 30 minutes early, because according to the clock in the van, I was right on time. A quick check of my cell phone verified that the office clock was correct, and the van time was wrong. Then I remembered that the radio shop had probably needed to unhook the battery to work on the DVD player, and they hadn't bothered to reset the clock, so it was 12 hours and 30 minutes off. No wonder I was early.

The person who set the windshield repair appointment said the shop techs took lunch until 2pm, so I had time to go pick up a bottle of water to drink while I waited for the repair to be finished. When I got back to the office at 2pm, it was *still* empty. Weird. Then I noticed a sign on the desk... "For assistance, dial 4109." Ah HAH....looks like the recession has hit the auto glass industry as well...the owners could save the cost of a receptionist by hooking up the office phone to the shop area, and then make the shop techs answer their own phones. It's a little off-putting for customers to walk into an empty office, but whatever.

I was pleased that the estimated 1.5 - 2 hour repair was completed in 1 hour, so I had time to do a little shopping before heading for home. I went to two different Target stores to exchange Jaxon's Easter shoes, which I had ordered online, but when they arrived it was immediately apparent they were one size too large. After checking the in-store stock, Jaxon will have to settle for a different shoe in the smaller size, because the original shoe doesn't come in a smaller size. Oh well, Jaxon will still be the cutest little 2 yr old in the nursery on Easter morn, even if his shoes don't exactly match big brother Jaden's. ;)

In our family we always let the birthday boy or girl choose where they'd like to eat out for lunch or supper, so my plan was to go to my favorite local Mexican restaurant, Playa Azul, for supper tonight. But when I arrived home I quickly realized that we wouldn't be eating out tonight, because little Jaxon was feeling "out of sorts", so I settled for take out from Long John Silver's. Not exactly "haute cuisine", but still enjoyable, since I didn't have to cook. ;)

All things considered, this wasn't up there in the top 10 best birthdays ever, but on the other hand, it wasn't the worst birthday I've ever experienced either. It was just another typical day in the life of a mom of nine kids. Even so, I wouldn't trade the unpleasant clean-ups and hectic schedule irritations that made up this "ordinary" birthday as the mother of nine for a lifetime of spectacular birthdays if it meant being without the love of my beautiful family. I have ....*truly*.... been blessed beyond measure.

an open letter to my brothers and sisters in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families:

2010-03-03T17:05:00.002-06:00

March 1st, 2010

On February 6, 2010, Lydia Schatz, the seven year old homeschooled daughter of Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz, died after having been brutally beaten for mispronouncing a word while reading out loud to her mother. Butte County, California District Attorney, Mike Ramsey, reported that evidence shows the child was severely and repeatedly whipped, most likely for several hours, with a 15” piece of ¼” plumbing supply line, the same instrument that also left her older sister with severe kidney damage and in critical condition. The other seven Schatz children are now in foster homes, their parents having been charged with torture and murder.

While it might be comforting to believe that this is one horrific, isolated case of abusive behavior, the fact is that Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were Bible-believing Christians who welcomed not only their own children into their home but three adopted ones as well. Their friends reported how shocked they were to hear this story about parents whom they called “loving” and “warm” and children who were “polite and well-behaved,” words that could describe most homeschooling families.

But Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were also devotees of the book To Train Up A Child and its authors, Michael and Debi Pearl, and they patterned their “discipline” methods after the Pearls’ instructions, down to the very instrument they used to beat their children.

This is not the first time a child has died at the hands of parents who embraced the teachings from TTUAC. In 2004, four year old Sean Paddock suffocated after his mother also beat him with ¼” plumbing supply line and then wrapped him tightly in a blanket to keep him from getting out of bed. She is now serving time in jail for first degree murder.

The killing of precious children in the name of “discipline” must stop and those of us who desire to come alongside and encourage homeschooling families must do all that we can to see that this sort of tragedy never happens again. I believe that the Pearls’ teachings on chastisement unto repentance, found in their books and magazines and on their website, is not just one among many approaches to disciplining children, but rather, is a form of child abuse and even one that is considered to be assault and battery of a child and punishable by law in many states.

As Christians, it is even more important to understand that the Pearls’ philosophy is based on the aberrant theology of “sinless perfection,” a perspective that leads to the notion that parents are able to change a child’s sinful heart and save a child’s soul. Here are some excerpts from TTUAC:

“The parent holds in his hand (in the form of a little switch) the power to absolve the child of guilt, cleanse his soul, instruct his spirit, strengthen his resolve, and give him a fresh start through a confidence that all indebtedness is paid.”

“The guilt burdened soul cries out for the lashes and nails of justice. Your child cannot yet understand that the Creator has been lashed and nailed in his place. Only the rod of correction can preserve his soul until the day of moral dawning.”

“Let the guilt come, and then, while they are yet too young to understand, absolve it by means of the rod. When their time comes, the principles of the cross will be easy to grasp.”

The Holy Word of God tells us that only by faith in the finished, atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross, an act of His mercy and grace, is a person saved. (“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.”~Titus 3:5) Physical chastisement by a parent cannot truly absolve a child of guilt nor can it cleanse his soul. To teach this and to lead any parent to think otherwise is promoting false doctrine and false hope in the works of man.

To that end, I would like to ask those who serve as homeschooling support group leaders and others who seek to serve within the homeschooling community to join the growing number of voices who are expressing their outrage and horror at the death of little Lydia Schatz and I would ask you to remove any recommendation of Michael and Debi Pearl’s teachings you have on your blogs or websites. Please stand with me and publicly say “This is wrong and it must stop.”

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” ~ Proverbs 31:8-9

By His grace,
Karen Campbell,
homeschooling mother and grandmother

www.thatmom.com

P.S. I would like to ask any readers of this blog to copy this letter, add your name, and send this letter along to your homeschooling support group leaders and to any homeschooling family you know and ask them to do the same.

Great news!

2010-02-11T11:37:00.002-06:00

Jared has been accepted into the Missionary Assistant program, and as soon as he raises adequate monthly support, he will be leaving for an extended mission trip to Nepal to work with missionaries Jason & Kristi Loper. He is tentatively planning to leave this fall and stay until the Lopers return to the US in May 2012.

Jared spent two months ministering with the Lopers in Nepal during the summer of '09, and in his words, experienced the "worst month of my life followed by the best month of my life". When you follow the Lord's call on your life, you should be prepared for and expect the enemy to try to discourage you in an attempt to derail God's message of salvation from being proclaimed.

My prayer for Jared as he follows God's leading to Nepal is found in Jesus' words in John 16:33...."In Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]" (The Amplified Version)

Jared produced a short video about his Nepal internship last summer, and as soon as I figure out how, I'll post it here.

Minn. bridge collapse widow adopts Haitian twins

2010-02-09T10:28:00.003-06:00

By JEFF BAENEN, Associated Press Writer Jeff Baenen, Associated Press Writer

Betsy Sathers wears the glow of a new mother as she perches on the couch in her living room, smiling and chatting with visitors while still managing to keep an eye on the two-year-old twins burbling and cavorting at her feet.

BLAINE, Minn. – Betsy Sathers wears the glow of a new mother as she perches on the couch in her family room, smiling and chatting with visitors while still managing to keep an eye on the 2-year-old twins burbling and cavorting at her feet.

Sathers — whose husband was killed when a Minneapolis freeway bridge collapsed into the Mississippi River in 2007 — is realizing her dreams of being a mother with the adoption of Ross and Alyse from Haiti.

The twins, brought to Sathers' home just days after the earthquake in Haiti, suck from baby bottles and drag toys across the floor. On the wall hangs a framed wedding day photo of Sathers and her late husband, Scott.

"I wasn't sure if I would ever be a wife again, and I was really all right with that. But I knew that I wanted to be a mom and I thought about it and I prayed about it a long, long time," Sathers said.

Betsy and Scott Sathers had been married just 10 months when the Interstate 35W bridge fell apart in August 2007, killing 13 people and injuring 145.

The young couple had talked about starting a family. At the time of the collapse, Betsy Sathers had thought she might even be pregnant. She later found she was not, adding to her pain: "I was grieving the loss of my husband and the family we had hoped to have together."

Now the children she hoped to have are finally here.

"I don't think I rescued them," Sathers, 33, said of the twins. "I feel like if anything, they've rescued me."

Sathers started the paperwork to adopt from Haiti last January. On Aug. 17, she received the referral — boy-girl twins.

She made three trips to Haiti to visit her children, the last one over New Year's Day. The quake hit Jan. 12, killing at least 150,000 people. Sathers, back home in her northern Minneapolis suburb, didn't know if her children were alive or dead.

The answer came in a phone call from a stranger — Rob Kramer, chairman and co-founder of Global Water Trust, which works to bring clean water to developing nations, and CEO of PopRule, an Internet technology company. Kramer had flown to Haiti after the quake and was helping legally process children who already had been adopted when he got an e-mail from a friend of Sathers' who told him about the twins.

Kramer was in a car leaving an orphanage when he received the e-mail. He asked the driver to stop in the middle of traffic and went to the van behind him to talk to Lucy Armistead, the founder and head of Kentucky Adoption Services. Armistead had just been at the same orphanage, picking up children eligible to be adopted out of the country.

Kramer said he asked Armistead if she knew "the boy and girl twins, Schneider and Schneidine" — Ross and Alyse's Haitian names — and explained the story. Armistead figured the twins were back at the orphanage. Still, she and her co-worker looked around the van, which was carrying about nine children, and found the twins in the back seat.

"I said, `You've got to be kidding me,'" Kramer recalls. "I said, `Let's just dash to the (U.S.) Embassy.'"

Ross and Alyse had survived the quake along with the 45 or so other children at the orphanage. The building in the Port-au-Prince suburb of Carrefour, at the epicenter of the quake, was destroyed, and the children were sleeping in tents and under tarps on a concrete slab across the street.

By Jan. 22, Kramer was on a private jet to Fort Lauderdale, Fla., with the twins. Sathers and her mother rushed to get on a flight to pick up her children.

The twins arrived a little dehydrated and, at 22 pounds each, a bit underweight, Sathers said. But she said the children are gaining weight and taking to American food.

Sathers, a consultant who plans to take a year's leave to be home with the twins, said she hopes people will continue to support Haitians through prayer and donations or volunteer work for relief organizations.

"It's a happy ending for my family, but there's still so much devastation there. There's so many other kids that it's not a happy ending there."

Comparing Apples to Oranges

2010-02-08T09:40:00.009-06:00

Saturday evening we took our four youngest kids to a pancake supper fundraiser for a local church, and we sat with a German Baptist family who we've known through our homeschool support group for many years. But because neither of our families are members of the support group anymore, we don't see each other very often. We had a very nice time catching up on what our older children are doing now that they've finished high school.

Another German Baptist family came by our table to say hello, and as we talked we realized their newest little one was born the exact same day as our little Jaeci. But sharing a birthday is where the similarity stops....their daughter is quite a bit bigger than Jaeci and is walking and talking already. She is even more developmentally advanced than Jaxon, who will be three in two months, yet still isn't walking or talking.

I try not to compare our little ones to "typical" kids, but being a "typical" mom, sometimes I can't help myself, even though it's like comparing apples to oranges. But thankfully, after six years of parenting special needs children, it doesn't take long for me to remember the blessing of their altered developmental timetable, which helps teach me how to slow down, to savor each moment and celebrate each milestone as precious gifts from God, not to be endured, but to be lovingly embraced.

The Creed For Babies with Down Syndrome

Anonymous

My face may be different

But my feelings the same.

I laugh and I cry

And I take pride in my gains.

I was sent here among you

To teach you to love.

As God in the Heavens

Looks down from above.

To Him I’m no different

His love knows no bounds.

It’s those here among you

In cities and towns

That judge me by standards

That man has imparted

But this family I’ve chosen

Will help me get started.

For I’m one of the children

So special and few

That came here to learn

The same lesson as you

That love is acceptance

It must come from the heart

We all have the same purpose

Though not the same start

The Lord gave me life

To live and embrace

And I’ll do it as you

But at my own pace.

Adopted for Life....and in Death

2010-02-03T11:55:00.003-06:00

(This is a reprint of a blog post from AlbertMohler.com)

Arno was inseparable from Mr. Penguin. The little Haitian boy was almost three years old, and the plush penguin with the word "love" inscribed upon it was his most treasured object. The orphan and his penguin were always seen together.

The boy had been given the penguin just after his birth. A Dutch couple was in the process of adopting him almost from the start of his life -- they had been matched to him when he was only two months old. The penguin represented a promise.

The process of adoption took two years -- the length of time considered adequate to determine that no living relatives might claim him. According to official estimates, there were over 50,000 parentless orphans in Haiti before the earthquake came and orphaned many thousands more.

Richard and Rowena Pet were the young Dutch couple who wanted so badly to be Arno's mother and father. They had struggled with infertility for years before deciding to adopt. As they awaited the adoption of Arno, Rowena became pregnant. Last August she gave birth to Jim, who was left in the care of relatives as Richard and Rowena flew to Haiti in January to claim Arno and complete the adoption process.

The story of Arno's adoption is movingly told by reporter David Charter of The Times [London]. As he reported, "Arno was shy at first but within 30 minutes of meeting his adoptive parents he reached for Rowena’s hand and took the Dutch couple on a tour of the orphanage in Port-au-Prince where he had spent most of his short life. He began to call them Mummy and Daddy."

Richard had shared their joy with a friend in an e-mail:

“We got to the orphanage feeling a bit strange. We went around a corner and immediately saw Arno walking towards us. He was OK until he was about half a meter away, but then he panicked. The woman from the orphanage helped out and half an hour later he took Rowena’s hand for the first time. I’m sorry but I can’t help crying at the moment as I type this. Arno has been showing us everything in the orphanage. He showed us an old car they have for the children to play on. He was holding a birthday card we sent for his second birthday.”

According to Charter, adoptive parents often stay at the Hotel Villa Therese in the Pétionville district of Port-au-Prince. That is where Richard and Rowena took Arno. That is where they were when the earthquake came. And that is where they died together.

David Charter tells the story, with comments by Chris Spaansen, the friend to whom Richard had sent the e-mail:

Dutch TV cameras were on hand during the frantic search by an international rescue team with members from the Netherlands, Britain and Canada. . . . Lying there amid the rubble was the unmistakable blue and yellow toy bird, Mr Penguin, marked with the word “Love”, that went everywhere with Arno. “That toy helped them to make their first contact with the little boy. It had a really special place in the family. It was a very emotional moment for all of us,” Spaansen says.

Then this:

What the cameras did not show were the three bodies, found intertwined together, as if Rowena and Richard had tried to put protective arms around Arno as the masonry began to fall. The disaster cruelly destroyed the new family, creating its own orphan back in the Netherlands. Jim, just five months old, will be brought up by Rowena’s sister, who already has her own three-year-old boy.

The bodies of Richard and Rowena and Arno Pet were taken to the Netherlands together, just as they had been found together in the rubble of the Hotel Villa Therese. They had been a family for a few hours, but a family all the same. Arno had a tragically short life, but he ended that life in the arms of a mother and a father.

Who can read this account without heartbreak . . . and a heart warmed? Is there a heart so cold that it does not feel the pathos of this report, and sense the sentiment of this family's tragedy? At the same time, this is not a tragedy in the classic sense. The love of Richard and Rowena and Arno Pet transcends tragedy. That is why The Times published this report, and why it stays with you so long after you read it.

Of course, for the Christian there is far more to this story. In the story of Arno Pet we find a picture of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As the Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians:

But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a virgin, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying "Abba! Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God. [Galatians 4:4-7]

Adoption is perhaps the most powerful depiction of the Gospel found in the Bible. We are all orphans, born under the curse of sin. By the sheer grace and mercy of God, those who come to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ are adopted as sons. Redeemed sinners are adopted as sons "through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise and glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved." [Ephesians 1:5-6]

Arno Pet began life as an orphan, but he ended life as a son. He was abandoned at his birth, but he died in the arms of his parents. He did not die as Arno, he died as Arno Pet.

In the rubble of the Hotel Villa Therese the film crew found the bodies of Richard and Rowena and Arno Pet. In that same rubble, we find a picture of the Gospel of Christ. He who has eyes to see, let him see.

http://www.albertmohler.com/2010/02/03/adopted-for-life-and-death/

Freed to Visit Orphans

2009-07-24T11:06:00.010-05:00

This beaufully moving video was put together by Brannon McCallister for the organization Together for Adoption.

Treasure of Jesus

What can I do
How can I live
To show my world
The treasure of Jesus

What will it take
What could I give
So they can know
the treasure He is

And if I can sing, let my songs be full of His glory
If I can speak, let my words be full of His grace
And if I should live or die
Let me be found pursuing this prize
The One that alone satisfies
The treasure of Jesus

Treasure of Jesus by Steven Curtis Chapman from the album All Things New by Steven Curtis Chapman.
© 2004 Sparrow Song / Peach Hill Songs / BMI / Admin. by EMI CMG Publishing.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Give Us Peace

2009-04-21T07:53:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we received news that our 2 yr old son may have a serious, potentially life-threatening digestive disease that has no cure, but can be successfully controlled through strict dietary changes. My first reaction, which unfortunately seems to be par for the course for me, was to respond in fear, instead of having faith in our heavenly Father and His plans for Jaxon's life.

I realize I need to immerse myself in God's Word, which always ministers His peace and comfort. Verses like..."Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning"...."In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome"....and my all-time favorite, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The following lyrics are taken from John Rutter's "The Falcon", and are based on Revelation 7:15-17. In these tumultuous times, no matter what is happening around me, my heart can be at peace because of the promise of heaven where He will dwell with us forever.

Behold, the city of God is with men.
He will dwell with them,
and they shall be His people.
And God Himself will be with them.

They shall hunger no more
neither thirst any more.
The sun shall not strike them,
nor any scorching heat.

For the Lamb in the midst of the throne
will be their shepherd.
And He will lead them to springs of living water.

And God shall wipe away
all tears from their eyes;
And there shall be no more death,
neither sorrow nor crying;
Neither shall there be any more pain,
For the former things have passed away.
Dona nobis pacem

~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Falcon III"
~ by John Rutter
~based on Revelation 7:15-17

2009-01-28T13:46:00.004-06:00

We finally managed to corral everyone together for a few minutes to snap a new family picture for the homeschool yearbook. It's not great, but it'll have to do for now, since Jared was anxious to get back to college, although I suspect he was more anxious to see his girlfriend, Heather, than he was to resume his studies. Ü

I also updated the kids' individual pictures on the right side of the blog, so take a minute to check them out.

Announcing.....

2008-10-31T13:01:00.025-05:00

...the birth and adoption of our Russian Princess, Jaeci Joanna. Jaeci arrived on October 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm, at Lennox Hill Hospital in New York, New York, less than two blocks away from Central Park on the Upper East Side. She weighed 10.5 pounds, which necessitated a Cesarean delivery, then afterwards she had a little trouble clearing the excess fluid from her lungs, so she was placed in the neonatal intensive care unit for a few days. Like Jaden & Luke, Jaeci has Down syndrome, and she also has a small PDA (patent ductus arteriosis....aka small hole) in her heart which doesn't even require medication, but otherwise, she is very healthy.

The day after Jaeci's birth I caught the first flight out and arrived in Newark, NJ late that evening. Friends who I had stayed with during Luke's adoption last year found the baby and me a place to stay in New York while we wait for NY and KS to approve all the adoption paperwork. The family we're staying with has an adult son with Down syndrome who lives with them, and they were all very excited to help us out. They have lovingly embraced us, and now Jaeci has two new "uncles", Kevin & Steve, and a new "aunt" Jan. What a blessing they have been! We spent Halloween evening roasting marshmallows and making s'mores for all the little trick-or-treaters who paraded by our hosts' driveway.

Jaeci's birthparents are both Russian immigrants, and in Russian culture, almost no one keeps their special needs babies. If they survive pregnancy & birth, SN babies are placed in government orphanages, then somewhere between the ages of 4-5, they are transferred to mental institutions, where the vast majority die within the first year due to lack of necessary medical care, therapies, attention, etc., but mostly because they have no one to love them. Even though Jaeci's birthparents live in the US now, most of their family members still live in Russia, and it would have been culturally unacceptable for them to keep her. They both love her very much, but they wanted her to grow up in a loving family who would accept her unquestioningly, instead of being ostracized because of her disability.

We weren't planning or even hoping to adopt another child, but when the Lord unexpectedly brought this precious baby girl into our lives, we couldn't say no. Some might think we're "off our rockers", but we are thrilled to be a part of the Lord's plan for little Jaeci's life. She is so sweet and precious, and we already know she will be a tremendous blessing to our family.

Jaeci and I are now caught in a bit of a legal limbo, approved by NY but still waiting for KS's approval, but we hope to be home within the next few days. I forgot my camera, so I'll have to wait to post more pictures until we get home, but here are two that were taken with my cell phone....

One more thing...we needed to find a new name for our blog, because it seems eight is NOT enuf. haha (Even though the title of our blog has changed, as far as I know, our blog address will remain the same.) Feel free to come visit here anytime!

No one ever told me...

2008-08-24T08:02:00.020-05:00

No one ever told me
That holding my sweet baby boy
Would end much, much too soon.

No one ever told me
That giving you freedom to grow
Would give you wings to fly.

No one ever told me
That watching you become a man
Would be so bittersweet.

No one ever told me
That being at home without you
Would feel so incomplete.

No one ever told me
That leaving you in the Lord's hands
Would leave my hands feeling empty.

No one ever told me
That answering God's call on your life
Would lead you far, far away.

No one ever told me
That following God's plan for my life
Would produce such a Godly harvest in yours.

No one ever told me
That releasing what I wasn't meant to keep
Would return that which can never be lost.

I love you, Son, go with God...

~Patrice McCarty, 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

Big changes ahead

2008-08-15T11:41:00.008-05:00

We found out a few days ago that we'll be going through a big change in a couple of weeks. Late Wednesday Jared came into the house and sat down at my computer...I noticed that he was looking at Central Bible College's website, and when I stepped over to my desk to get something (no, I wasn't prying...lol), Jared told me that during youth group, the Lord touched his heart, and while he was talking to our pastor about his future after youth group, he finally broke down in tears. As they prayed, the Lord showed him that instead of working and taking the correspondence course, He wants Him he to go to college, which starts in a little over a week. Jared had been fasting and praying over the last several weeks, seeking the Lord for clear direction for his future, and the Lord was faithful to reveal His plan for Jared's life.

I think the Lord had been preparing me for Jared's news all day long...you know how when you know something important is about to happen, your adrenalin gets pumping, giving you a feeling of anticipation? I literally felt like that all day Wednesday, but couldn't put my finger on why, 'cause as far as I knew, nothing important was "in the works". Well now I know why. lol

I'm sure we will miss Jared desperately, but I have a "knowing" in my heart that this is from the Lord. I haven't shared this with Jared yet, but I had much the same experience between my junior & senior years in college...I was living with my brother in OK and wasn't planning on going back to college, due to no money. I had decided to work for a year and then transfer to a Christian college in the Oklahoma City area to complete a degree in social work, which my previous college didn't offer.

The weekend right before school started I drove back to school to hear a beginning-of-the-school-year concert given by their traveling worship team. The Lord touched my heart during the concert, and while talking to my music professors after the concert I broke down in tears. At that point I *knew* the Lord wanted me to stay and complete my music degree.

I drove back to OK and fought against it for a few days, because I couldn't figure out HOW I would pay for it, but He wouldn't give me any peace until I called my professor and asked him if I could resume my studies in the music dept. He not only promised me a job as his secretary in the music dept, he promised me a spot on the traveling worship team as well, which had always been my dream.

I still couldn't see how I would be able to afford tuition, but as I stepped out in faith, the Lord worked out all the details, and the rest is history. And while I have no earthly idea how Jared will pay for college (nearly $20,000/yr), I am confident that as he steps out in faith, the Lord will once again work out all the details.

Happy Birthday, Jared!

2008-08-07T09:57:00.003-05:00

Our firstborn turned 19 today. WoW! Just saying that makes me feel reaaaalllly old! LOL The details of his birth are so vivid in my mind, it seems like just yesterday that he was born. But in other ways, it seems like it happened a whole other lifetime ago, know what I mean?

Jared recently told us he wants to take correspondence courses toward becoming a pastor/missionary, instead of going to a 4-yr college. The cost for each of the three different levels of the program will be less than a thousand dollars, instead of over $20,000/yr for Bible college. The levels of the program are the equivilent of associates, bachelors, and masters degrees. He would have to read a series of books and take a test after each book, and each level will take approx. 1.5 to 2 yrs to complete. He can work full-time while he's taking the courses, and complete the work at his own pace. He can complete all three levels, or just one or two. After finishing the first level he would be "certified", after the second level he would be "registered", and after the third level he would be "ordained". Our pastor to the seniors is only "certified", and he told Jared he is able to do everything an ordained pastor can do (baptize, marry, bury, etc) except vote at our denomination's pastoral leadership conferences.

We haven't told Jared yet, but as soon as I receive the next disbursement from my mother's estate (sometime this month), we are going to pay for his first level as a belated graduation gift. Besides our seniors' pastor, who completed the program decades ago, two other men from our church are enrolled in the program right now, so Jared will have several mentors who can help him if need be.

Happy Birthday, Son! I know we don't say it enough, but we love you and are so proud of the godly man you have become, and that you are determined to follow the Lord wherever He leads. May the Lord bless your obedience and devotion to Him!

How do I spell relief? P-O-T-T-Y !!!!!

2008-08-01T23:04:00.023-05:00

This week we made a lot of progress on the bathroom remodel....since Sunday, we wired the ceiling light/vent fan, prepared and laid the tile floor, and put up the beadboard walls. I started painting and installing some of the trim this morning, but it got so stinkin' hot this afternoon, I had to take a break and do something indoors before I gave myself a heat-stroke. The kids had their VBS program & luau (pig roast) at 6pm, so Paul wasn't able to get anything done on the bathroom until after we got back home at 8pm. But less than 2 hours later, 10 weeks to the day after we started demo on our bathroom, we **finally** have a POTTY! YEAH!!!!! I was given the honors of its first use, but in my excitement, I forgot to bring in a roll of tp. Oops! Ü

Here are a few pictures of our remodeling process....unfortunately, most of the time I was too busy working to bother taking pictures. lol

For a few weeks we had to give Jaden and Luke their baths in a storage tub on the kitchen floor. Not exactly what pioneer families had to endure in the name of cleanliness, but pretty darn close. lol Jaden screamed bloody murder the whole time....he must have been wondering if we were trying to murder him. LOL

Luke wasn't too sure about the storage tub either, but at least he didn't get the kitchen floor and Daddy as wet as Jaden did.

Here are a few shots of Jaden and Luke enjoying their very first bath in our new tub.

We had to bring the hot water in with buckets, and the room still had bare stud walls, plywood flooring, and no door, which made it a bit drafty, but the boys still thought it was much better than a storage tub on the kitchen floor!

Paul is mudding and taping the sheetrock around the tub/shower.

Here are a few shots of what it looks like now. As you can see, we still have a few things left to do....plumb the sink, finish painting and installing the trim, hang the medicine cabinet, wire the over-the-sink light fixture, and strip & repaint the door. But barring anything unforeseen, by this time next week we should be totally finished!

I never would have guessed that it would take us 2.5 months to finish....When Paul told me right after we started demo that one of his co-workers mentioned that *his* bathroom remodel had taken 3 months, I told Paul that it had better not take us that long, or he'd have a very unhappy wife on his hands. Maybe that's why he really poured it on this week. lol

Earlier this evening (right before we got the toilet set), Jason took two of his friends into the bathroom to show it off, and they were all ooo-ing and ahh-ing their approval. hahaha I think Jason is just relieved that we're almost finished, because we told him we'd start on his room next. We're going to put up paneling that looks like bricks on half of the room, then install (not ourselves) new navy blue shag carpet. Janae's room will also receive new pale lavender shag carpet at the same time.

We also still waiting on the cement guy to come back to fix our foundation problem and pour the new patio so we won't get any more water damage in the basement. He promised we'd be next on the list over a month ago, but he hasn't come back yet. Thankfully, the sand bags around the back door have kept rainwater at bay so far (not that we've had much rain over the past month). Once the concrete underlayment for the patio is poured, then we can set the patio tiles and have a cookout, hopefully by Labor Day weekend.

Is it too much to ask that we'll be finished with all of our projects in time to snuggle up for a long winter's nap? lol

Gotcha Day, One Year Later!

2008-06-02T22:56:00.004-05:00

Hi all, today marks one year exactly from the day I picked Luke up from his bgrandparents' in New Jersey....can you believe we are still waiting to finalize his adoption?!?! I have an appt with our attorney tomorrow morning to hopefully sign the petition to adopt, and then Paul can sign it on Thursday when he makes deliveries in the attorney's town (30 miles away). I'll be honest, I'm feeling a bit like the actor Bill Murray in the movie "Groundhog Day", reliving the same day over and over and over, with absolutely nothing changing, no matter how hard he tries to fix whatever's wrong so he can move on. I had an appt with the attorney 4 weeks ago, and he assured me the petition to adopt would be ready to sign a week later, but so far, nothing has been completed. Kriminy, how tough can it be? I know for a fact that he has Jaden's petition to adopt on Word Doc, so would it really be too much to ask for him to take 30 minutes of his precious time to make the applicable changes to Luke's, and then print it out? What the heck can be taking him soooo long?

To pass the time while waiting for the adoption papers to be finished, I've been keeping busy shopping for materials for our bathroom remodel. Anyone who has ever done any remodeling can attest to the fact that it usually takes twice as long and twice as much money as you budgeted. Paul and I started demo Friday evening, and we thought we were finished last night, but ds Jared (the one who works for a contractor) gave us the bad news this evening that we will need to take out the subflooring too (it's starting to rot around the toilet), so it's back to demo. Jared also said we might need to replace all the bathroom plumbing, clear up to the roof vent. *sigh* I was hoping to get started on the construction phase this week, but I guess the 9 of us will have to continue sharing one bathroom for the forseeable future.

We borrowed a homeschooling friend's antique grain truck over the weekend to haul away all of our debris, and Paul ran it out to the city dump during his lunch hour today. The total weight of our debris was 1980 lbs. WoW! No **wonder* my back, arms, and hands are aching today! Paul and I both stepped on nails yesterday, so Paul had to get a Tetanus shot today. Ouch! (I had a Tetanus booster a couple of years ago, so I didn't need one.) Both of us have several other cuts & scrapes, and I think I might have broken the middle knuckle on my right thumb as we were breaking apart our cast-iron tub yesterday. My hands are sooo swollen and achy today, I can't wear any of my rings, and you can totally forget handwriting.

Anyway, I'll be sure to snap a picture or two of the bathroom when we're all finished....it's gonna look sooo nice! Ceramic tile flooring, new tub & shower surround, pedestal sink & matching toilet with fluted bases, matching faucets & accessories in brushed nickel & porcelain with "old-time" hot/cold faucet handles, white bead-board paneling up to my eye level (about 4.5 ft), and towels & rugs in pale sage & lavender. I can't wait to see how it will turn out!

Happy Belated 1st Birthday, sweet baby boy!

2008-05-09T12:54:00.014-05:00

I know this is a little late, but I was a little preoccupied the last few weeks. Happy 1st Birthday to our handsome little man! I took him to get pictures taken last week, and was a little worried about how they would turn out, because he was being a grumpy goose and only smiled a couple of times. We received the proofs yesterday, and I was pleasantly surprised at how cute they turned out.

Our baby seal

Bright eyes

Happy Birthday, Luke!

Luke's 1st Birthday

So handsome

Who can say no to this face?

~I Love you, Mom~

2008-04-29T00:00:00.009-05:00

(Just checking to see if this trial version will work on my blog before I pay for the full version. The watermark "Evaluation Copy" will disappear on the full version...at least I hope it will.)

In case I failed to contact you with the news, my mother passed away in her sleep in the early hours of April 25th, five weeks to the day after her terminal diagnosis. While we were sad that she went so quickly, we were thankful for the Lord's goodness & mercy in not allowing her to suffer months of additional pain.

I wanted to finish this montage of Mom's life before she passed away, but due to circumstances beyond my control, it wasn't finished until after her death. This viewer is very small and the printing almost impossible to see, but you'll get the idea....the orginial version was full-screen, but I don't know how to make this one larger. Crank up the sound after the "school days" slide, because the second song didn't record as loud as the first one. (And don't forget to turn off the background music at top right, or you'll be listening to two songs at the same time! lol)

Adoption As Mission Work

2008-04-12T11:49:00.005-05:00

I can’t take credit for writing any of this…I copied it from a friend's blog, and she copied it from helpadopt.tripod.com. It so blessed me, because it speaks well about the heart of adoption and what adoptive families experience. Hope you enjoy it!!!

“Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

Adoption is a great way to help children! God is calling all kinds of families to adopt, and they come from all economic situations. The usual cost for adoption is now tens of thousands of dollars! It is cheaper to give birth than to pay for an adoption, and health insurance won’t cover adoption like it covers a birth. When someone adopts a child, they are making a huge sacrifice. We all need to be ready to help these adoptive parents so they won’t suffer financial difficulties or give up on adoption. In many cases, adoptive parents provide homes for children who might have died or been aborted. Here is a way to help save innocent human lives.

Every child deserves to grow up in a loving family. There are loving families who want to adopt the unwanted children…but sadly the expense of adoption often stands in the way.

There are staggering numbers of abandoned and orphaned children worldwide. These numbers are increasing rapidly because of AIDS, wars, famine, terrorism, politics, and impoverished societies in which parents cannot afford to keep and raise their kids. While sponsorships and orphanage support can improve life for some of these children, there is no substitute for being in a loving home and being part of a family who will love you forever, no matter what.

Adoptive families are missionaries. This is a calling, just as missionary work is. The adoptive families will lead their children to Christ, ensuring them of a good eternity. We should be supporting this in every way we can, including financially. If you are not feeling a call to adopt a child, you can still help with the finances to enable someone else to adopt. What treasure in heaven we’ll have if we help these kids find their way into families!

God invented adoption, and it pleases Him when we care for the fatherless! We were adopted into the family of God, when we accepted His Son as our Savior. Adoptive parents do not experience the usual fanfare lavished upon families who birth their children. There seems to be a sort of discomfort or embarrassment about adoption, and people tend to view it as second best. It is not! Adoption is God’s first-class way to expand families! Please celebrate with adoptive parents exactly as you do with parents who birth babies!

Concrete Ways to Help

1) Donate directly to adopting families. Cash will help them with adoption and travel costs, and gift certificates will help them to furnish their child’s room, choose clothing or provide for other needs they have for their new child.

2) Take love-offerings at church for families who are adopting.

3) Hold fund-raisers such as a garage sale, spaghetti feed, carnival, car wash, bake sale, babysitting, can drive, newspaper drive, candy sale, and so on.

4) Donate frequent flier miles to a family who has to travel to adopt.

5) Have an “orphanage shower” or collections box, providing the needed donations of new children’s clothing, toiletries, and medications the family will need to donate to their child’s orphanage. On top of a large, mandatory, cash donation to their child’s orphanage, they will probably also need to take supplies to help the children who remain there.

6) Encourage an adopting family. Pray, call, send cards, letters, and let them know they are important to you and on your mind. Treat them as you would any other expectant family. Understand that adoption can be even more stressful than birthing a child, because of the uncertainties, financial pressures, and the invasion of privacy required. Adoptive families need you, your prayers, and your love!

7) Host a shower. From newborn to teen, the newly adopted child will need all sorts of things that other kids take for granted. Babies need a crib, high chair, stroller, clothing, diapers, bottles, and toys. For older kids, think big-ticket items like a bed, bike, jacket, shoes, school supplies, toys and games. Adopted kids usually come to their new families with nothing. Imagine having to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a child’s adoption, and then having to scrounge up more money for things like a bed, clothing, and other things. You can help them get a start in life with your thoughtful gifts.

8) Bring meals to the family after they adopt, just as for someone who has given birth. This is especially appreciated by families that must travel great distances to bring a child home. Jet lag is exhausting, especially when combined with the stresses and adjustments of adopting a child. While churches commonly provide meals for a week or two when a family has a new baby, few think to do this for those who have just adopted a child.

9) Offer to help them with child care, pet care, yard work, errands, and house cleaning, just as you would for a family who has added a birth child. Remember how tired this family is after bringing their child home!

10) Welcome the new addition warmly! The family whose mission it is to raise this child will love you for it!

11) Adopt a child yourself! If every family adopted a child, imagine the impact that would have on the Kingdom of God and on the orphans of the world. Seek God about adopting a child of your own. Can it be God’s will for you to fulfill so many scriptures? It might be! Don’t let fear scare you, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. If you are not adopting because you are afraid to, then examine that fear and know it does not come from God. God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!

“Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the brethren and for strangers, who have borne witness of your love before the church. If you send them forward on their journey in a manner worthy of God, you will do well, because they went forth for His name’s sake, taking nothing from the Gentiles. We therefore ought to receive such, that we may become fellow workers for the truth.”
3 John 1:5-8

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen; To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh? Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.” Isaiah 58:6-9

Blessings!

Small praises

2008-04-11T10:33:00.002-05:00

Thank you so much for your prayers for my mom and family! Yesterday went so much better than Wednesday, when I felt so frazzled and up to my gills with "stuff" to do that I almost lost my sanity. My brother Rick, his wife, and one of their married daughters & grandbaby met me in the hospice home's parlor before lunch yesterday to discuss Mom's funeral arrangements with the mortician. Brother Ron was "ok" with the preplanning, but he didn't want to participate, and sister Michelle is still AWOL.

We have nearly everything done and paid for, save a few incidentals that we can't take care of until the day of the funeral, like pay the honorariums to the minister & musicians, etc. Rick & wife are going to print up the service programs & acknowledgement cards (they own a print shop), using Mom's high school picture on the front cover of the program, and if I have time, I would like to create a video or powerpoint presentation of Mom's life (if I can find enough pictures). I can't tell you how freeing that has been, to finally have everything completed so we won't feel so bogged down by details after Mom passes away.

My niece & her baby visited with Mom while we talked to the mortician, and Mom was sooo delighted to receive an unexpected visit, especially since it was during one of Ron's work days when she gets so lonely. We finished up all the paperwork in time to eat lunch with Mom, and as we were leaving, she told us we had "made her day". Ü

Just wanted to share these small praises with you...

Please pray for Todd & Angie Smith

2008-04-06T16:44:00.002-05:00

On Monday, April 7th, Todd Smith (a member of the Christian singing group "Selah") and his wife Angie will be delivering their 4th child, a baby girl they have named Audrey Caroline. They have been told by numerous specialists that Audrey will not survive, and they have been leaning on God to help them through their inevitable loss after Audrey's birth.

Todd & Angie have chronicled Audrey's story on a blog named "Bring the Rain"...their writing is beautiful, heartwrenchingly open and vulnerable. Please take the time to read their blog and be blessed by their faith, and join me in praying that the Lord will comfort and strengthen them as they walk through this difficult journey of welcoming and saying goodbye to their precious little girl.

Here is a short excerpt from their latest post:

After all of the anguish of the past few days, and from what we consider very sound medical advice, we have made the decision to move Audrey's due date forward one week. She is now scheduled to be born at 4pm on Monday April
7th.
We beg for your prayers. We need you, warriors.
We are desperate for peace, for unexpected joy, for as much time with her as God would allow, and enough grace for the time that He won't.
We long for her. We long to know the next page in this chapter...to His glory, whatever it may be.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)
Philippians 4:7 has been quoted to us so many times as we have walked this journey. I looked it up today to write down and was struck by the fact that Audrey will be born on 4/7. We trust that this was for us to find refuge in, and we do.
Good night, sweet friends. And deepest gratitude.
Angie

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Long day, good results

2008-03-27T09:18:00.002-05:00

I didn't get to bed until nearly 2 am yesterday morning, and then we had to get up at 5:30 to take Jaden in for his ear tube surgery and ABR hearing test. Jaden didn't get out of surgery for over two hours...just as I was starting to get worried, the nurse came out and told us he was doing fine, but the hearing test was taking a lot longer than they anticipated. When Jaden finally got back to recovery he was very combative and screamed for 30-45 minutes, but then Janae started being goofy with his two stuffed animals, and he finally calmed down and started giggling a little bit. The doc said he still needed to go over the test results, but the preliminary numbers showed that Jaden only has a mild hearing loss, so he's not almost deaf like the first doc predicted, which is a huge answer to prayer!

I didn't think to take my camera with us to Jaden's surgery yesterday, but when he was being sooo funny before they came to get him, I had Janae snap a few pictures of him with my cell phone.

Jaden refused to put on his hospital gown until Janae asked if he wanted to put on his new "man dress", then he got all excited and put it on. LOL He kept twirling around and around, watching his "man dress" billow out behind him, like a dog chasing his tail....what a hoot!

Then the nurse brought in a tank of oxygen with an attached albuterol breathing aparatus, and said he needed to have a treatment before surgery, since he has asthma. He screamed and screamed when I tried to give him the treatment while sitting on my lap, so they said to just forget it. But after the nurse left, Jaden picked up the mask and gave himself the treatment, and even shared with his little frog. We tried to get a shot of him twirling around, but he was movin' tooo fast. lol

After we left the surgery center we went to the mall to get Janae a new dress for her trip to New Orleans next week (she's going to a youth covention in Alabama called "The Call"). I also decided to give myself a little "sumthin-sumthin" (a phrase coined by our children's pastor)...I got my hair cut, colored & styled. I think I might have fallen asleep in the chair for a few minutes while the stylist was putting in the foils, and if so, I hope I didn't snore! LOL But it felt SOOOO good to just sit and not have something that needed doing, after the chaotic week we've had around here.

We have seen some improvement in my Mom's overall condition over the last day or two. She's still weak, but she's starting to eat more, and has been talking up a storm to anyone who stops by for a visit. She was getting such horrendously inadequate care at the nursing home that when hospice called us yesterday afternoon to let us know they had an open bed, we jumped on it immediately and had her transferred by 7 pm. My brother from 2.5 hours away even came to help, which was very appreciated.

So....now that my Mom is comfortably settled, and hopefully will be receiving adequate care, I'm hoping my life will slow down just a little so we can get some schoolwork and housework done.

Yeah riiiiight, who am I kidding? LOL

The prodigal has been found....

2008-03-25T09:08:00.003-05:00

A very good friend of mine from California (Carol) found my sister Michelle yesterday. Michelle's ex-husband Danny knew where she was all the time, but she instructed him to not give anyone in the family her contact information, if we happened to call. When Carol called Danny, he gave her Michelle's location, then Carol called and talked to Michelle for over an hour.

Carol has always had a soft spot in her heart for Michelle, and she told Michelle that any time she needs to talk, to feel free to call her. Michelle said she doesn't know if she's going to come see Mom or not...she doesn't want to, but Danny & Carol both encouraged her to come make her peace with Mom before it's too late.

Both of my brothers get very emotional when talking about Michelle, and they have instructed both the nursing home and hospice house to refuse to give Michelle admittance to Mom's room. In my opinion, that decision should be up to Mom, and since she wants to see Michelle, I think we should stay out of it. Granted, I don't think Michelle should be alone with Mom due to her tendency to get angry and scream (and possibly violent) with no provocation, but to deny them the right to see each other one last time seems a bit high-handed.

I've thought about calling Michelle many times over the last few years, but I never did, and the longer I waited to contact her, the more distance it put between us. The only contact info we had for her was her ex's cell phone, and the one time I did call (on Michelle's birthday a few months after she disappeared), he wouldn't let me talk to her. Now the chasm in our relationship seems to be unbreachable.

So, when Mom got sick and I tried to find Michelle, I started wondering, what part did I play in this whole messed-up scenario? Did I love Michelle with the love of the Lord, the "I Corinthians 13--love never fails" kind of love, or did I abandon her in her hour of need because she was "too needy"? On the other hand, when I tried to keep the lines of communication open Michelle wasn't always receptive. I can't think of anything I did that might have offended Michelle right before she disappeared again. And when she stopped responding to my efforts, I gave up....maybe too easily because I didn't care enough to be bothered?

I guess I just need to ask the Lord to search my heart and illumine any sinful thoughts and attitudes I've held against her, and ask Him to give us an opportunity to reconcile our differences in His timing (which I realize might not be right now). It isn't His will for us to live with this animosity between us, so what exactly is my responsibility? I can't go chasing after her if she doesn't want to be found, but is there something else I *can* do? (And these are just thinking outloud, rhetorical questions I'm throwing out here....I'm not expecting anyone to provide the answers....)

Yesterday was a better day for Mom than Sunday, with 40 family members in and out of her room all day. Even though she thorougly enjoyed seeing everyone, it was very exhausting for her. The only glitch we had yesterday was when we were forced to file a formal grievance with the nursing home administrator because the CNA in charge of Mom's care Sunday evening refused to change her colostomy bag before she went off shift, so Mom's bag exploded in the middle of the night. So far I haven't been terribly impressed by the care she's received at the nursing home, so hopefully we can move Mom to the hospice house soon.

Patrice, whose middle name should be "fixer-upper" because of her pathological need to make things perfect

Trying times

2008-03-20T23:48:00.006-05:00

Well, we got very bad news this evening. Mom's doc came into her room while none of us were there and told her she was terminal, and probably only has a month or two to live. (Although, if I had to guess, I'd say that was a very optimistic estimate....from the looks of it, she could pass away any day.) Her colonoscopy this afternoon showed that her colon is totally shot and isn't repairable. Her intestines are like mush, so there's nothing they can do.

After the doc left and my brother came back from wherever he had been, one of the nurses came in and put a red sticker on Mom's arm band. When Ron asked the nurse what it was, she told him it meant Mom was DNR. He didn't know what that meant, so she had to tell him it meant Do Not Resuscitate. It was right at that moment that I called Mom's room to see if they had an update, and when Ron answered, I knew something was wrong because he sounded really weird, then he said he'd have to call me back in a few minutes and hung up. So I dashed around getting the kids something to eat, then Paul and I rushed to the hospital.

I am sooooo angry with the doc, he had no business telling Mom she was terminal when none of us were there to help support her. And to have the nurse put a red sticker on her arm band and then proceed to tell Mom it meant she was DNR was OVER THE TOP insensitive & crass! All evening Mom kept saying she wanted Ron to sit up with her all night so she wouldn't die.

Anyway, my oldest brother is planning on meeting us at the hospital tomorrow morning (he lives 2 hrs away) so we all can talk to Mom's doc together and get some straight answers. We also plan on raising cain on how insensitive he was when he delivered the bad news. Mom said he mentioned something about hospice care, but she wasn't able to give us any other information. So we'll have lots of questions for him tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot...I also have to try to track down my sister, who has been AWOL for almost three years. I called her ex-husband's cell phone yesterday to see if she was still living with him, and he said they had recently separated....they were only divorced "on paper", so she could qualify for disability...she has been diagnosed bi-polar, and has attempted suicide & been hospitalized in mental institutions so many times I've lost count.

Her ex, Danny, who is Israeli and speaks with a heavy accent, told me she was living in Wichita in a homeless shelter. He doesn't know the name of the shelter, and he can't call her, but she calls him every few days, so he'll pass on the info about our mom's health the next time she calls. This whole mess with Michelle will be sooo stressful on all of us....she didn't show up at our Dad's funeral 12 years ago because she was mad at me. It was another 3 or 4 years before we finally tracked her down and "made up". I'm not sure how to track her down this time, but I guess I'll call the Red Cross first and see if they can help us locate her, and if not, then we may be out of luck.

Please pray for our family. The next few days & weeks are going to be very tough and emotionally exhausting....we need to just take it one day at a time and realize that the Lord is still in control....He numbered Mom's days before she was ever born, and this hasn't caught Him by surprise.

Daddy's little boy

2008-03-20T00:09:00.010-05:00

These pictures speak for themselves...

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!

2008-03-19T23:33:00.008-05:00

The Lord answered your/my prayers for my mother in a mighty way! I was able to be with my mom & brother during her dr appt this morning, and when the doc told Mom he wanted to hospitalize her for a few days, then transfer her to the hospital's nursing home swing bed unit, neither she nor my brother objected. This was a HUGE miracle! In the past, if one of us ever dared to mention the words "nursing home" in the same sentence as "mom", Ron would blow up and say, "Over my dead body!" So for him to actually agree to this plan can only be an answer to prayer. I think it helped immensely that the doc was sensitive to not give Ron the impression that he wasn't doing a good job taking care of her, it was just that Mom needs more specialized care than what he would be able to provide at home.

Mom told the doc that she had always been very resistant to the idea of a nursing home, but she would do whatever he thought was best so she could get better. So, before she had time to change her mind (LOL), we got her admitted and tucked in her bed. They will be running lots of tests, then in a few days, they'll send her to the nursing home. The doc mentioned that it could take weeks or possibly even several months before she'll be strong enough to go back home, but Mom didn't bat an eye. (I realize she's so weak she doesn't have any fight in her right now, and when she starts feeling better that will probably change, but at least today went off without a huge scene.)

Thank you Lord!

Parenting your parents

2008-03-18T22:11:00.006-05:00

One of the many things I hate about getting older is that not only am I still parenting my children, all of a sudden I am now having to parent my parent. I realize it comes with the territory, but I don't have to LIKE it! LOL

My 79 yr old mother was hospitalized about 4 weeks ago because she was severely dehydrated and had a massive infection in her intestines. (She has worn a colostomy bag for 7 years.) She was released 3 weeks ago today, but she is still very, very weak, and my brother Ron, who lives with her, isn't making her take care of herself the way she should.

She is not a very good patient (and trust me, that's putting it mildly LOL), so he gets frustrated with her and just gives up. I really do appreciate him living with her, because otherwise I don't know what we'd do. But unfortunately, he's in denial about how sick she is, and I'm worried that she's not going to get better.

My aunt & uncle have called several times over the last few days to let me know they're concerned, but every time I call Ron he says Mom is "just fine" and getting much better. (Which is exactly what he told me in the weeks before our dad passed away from colon cancer...denial, denial, denial, up to and including the last hour of Dad's life.)

I had a dream early this morning that Mom passed away....on the one hand I hope my dream wasn't prophetic, but on the other hand, maybe the Lord is trying to prepare me for what's ahead (I have had several prophetic dreams in the past). I just don't know what to do. They are both soooo resistant to other people's input/suggestions, but I just can't sit back and let her die.

Jaden has a pre-op appt. at the drs office tomorrow morning, so I'm going to ask them when Mom's appt is and be there (if they'll tell me, stupid privacy laws....grrrrrr!). If the office won't give me the appt time info, I'm at least going to tell the PA during Jaden's appt. exactly what's been going on with mom so she can make an informed decision about what to do for her. I'm sure that Ron & mom will sugar-coat what they tell the PA and not be honest about her condition. My aunt & uncle both told me they think Mom should probably be readmitted to the hospital, or at the very least, admitted to the "swing-bed" unit until she regains her strength.

Anyway, if anyone is reading this, please pray that my mom & brother will be receptive to my help/input, and that her doc will figure out why she's still so sick.

A little bragging.....

2008-03-17T13:01:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I was playing peek-a-boo & pat-a-cake with Luke while I was holding him on my lap. I didn't think he would actually respond because I thought he wasn't ready developmentally. But he surprised us all when he brought his little hands together and started clapping all on his own! WHOOOOHOOOOOO! He had such a big grin on his sweet little face, like he was saying, "Look, Mommy, I can do it!" And he hasn't forgotten how to do it since yesterday either....he's been keeping us all amused playing pat-a-cake over and over again this morning.

Jaden's school picture

2008-03-14T19:56:00.004-05:00

This was taken just a couple of weeks ago.

Today's math lesson.....13 x 3 (+ 10) = OLD!

2008-03-12T22:07:00.007-05:00

Edited to add: Ooops, my bad....13 x 3 = THIRTY nine, not 49! Wow, guess old-timers disease is setting in too! LOL

I spent a fairly quiet 49th birthday today at home with the kids. This morning Jacob sent me an email of "The Birthday Song", Jamye & Jalyn sent me humorous ecards, and Janae bought me a very nice card and a book of Christian historical fiction, "Daughter of Joy", by Kathleen Morgan.

Jalyn actually sent me two ecards....one with a frog theme (of course), and one that said "Remember, age is just about numbers...", and on the inside, it said, "and in your case, it's a LARGE one!" haha She wrote in the message that it wasn't true, but she thought it was "cute", so she sent it anyway. lol In all honesty, at the young age of 13, she probably does see my age as a very large #.

Paul took the kids to pick up lunch at our brand-new Taco Bell, and when they got home with their food, I left to get Chinese take-out. Not that I don't care for Taco Bell, but after last week's visit to TB didn't stay down more than an hour or so, I'm not ready to "go there" again just yet. :>P

After lunch, in between reading chapters of Karen Kingsbury's newest book (Someday, 3rd in the Sunrise series), I also scoured the living room, the kitchen, our bedroom, and the bathroom, hoping to locate my debit card, which I was about 99.99% sure our light-fingered 5 yr old took off my desktop a couple of days ago. I don't normally keep anything remotely important on my desk, due to Jaden's tendency to nab anything that looks interesting (which is pretty much everything in his mind...lol), but I forgot to put my debit card back in my purse after I purchased something online Monday afternoon. And the next time I needed it, it was g-o-n-e, GONE!

I asked Jaden to help Mommy find her card, but being non-verbal, he just looked at me like I was insane and then went back to his cartoons. I made Jacob put away all their toys so I could at least see the floor in their room, but the card wasn't to be found. I was just hoping Jaden hadn't flushed it down the toilet.

Paul had just started to go through the trash can (where Jaden usually stashes his "found" loot) when I had a wild-hair thought to look in the boys' dirty-clothes hamper, and VOILA, my missing card was unearthed! Paul was thrilled that he could suspend his dumpster diving activities, at least until the next item goes missing. LOL

For supper the kids all had left-overs, then after they went to youth group, Paul & I had grilled ribeye steaks, baked potatoes w/lots of butter, and strawberry shortcake for dessert. Heaven! There's only one meal I would've liked better -- lobster dripping in butter -- but since no restaurant in our land-locked, one-horse town sells them, I was forced to "make do" with the next-best thing. Ü

Well, I guess that's all folks...nothing too spectacularly special, but it was still a nice, relaxing day with no basketball practice, no games, no dr or therapy appts, no ER or hospital visits, no parent/teacher conference, etc etc etc, so all in all, I can honestly say I enjoyed my very last 40-something birthday.

TaTa!

Great news!

2008-03-10T11:28:00.000-05:00

We got a call from the agency this morning, Luke's amended birth certificate has finally arrived, after a loooooong 6 month wait. YIPPEE!!!!!!!! Hopefully now the SSAdm will get his SS# and SSI applications processed quickly so we can move on to the AAP application process and get his adoption finalized.

Memories

2008-03-05T23:17:00.008-06:00

Two of our kids had eye dr appts this week....Jared has been complaining about blurry vision while reading or working on the computer, and after his exam the doc told him he needs reading glasses. Huh? He's only 18, ferpetesake! Guess all that computer time has taken its toll. Jared was sporting his new "look" this evening, and he doesn't look half bad, if I do say so myself. LOL

Janae now has her first pair of contact lenses, which she has been desperately wanting for the last several years. We agreed to pay her fitting fees, on the condition that she would pay for her monthly supply of lenses....babysitting one evening a month will more than cover the $10-20 expense. IF she doesn't lose, tear, or scratch a lens and have to order a new pair.

So, you can probably guess where this story is headed.....Janae was cleaning one of her contacts this evening when she turned to talk to her Dad, and when she turned back around, her contact wasn't still in her palm. Instant panic! Jalyn & Jamye got down on their hands and knees to frantically search the floor around Janae's desk, and of course I had to get in on the action. Paul helped by bringing his flashlight in to illuminate the area, and a minute or two later, I found the contact, clinging to the leg of Janae's desk, almost all the way to the floor. Don't ask me how it ended up there, but it did. Maybe her long tresses brushed it out of her palm when she turned her head, who knows? At any rate, Janae was very thankful I found it, because she only has the one pair, and we're leaving town first thing tomorrow morning for the kids' three-day basketball tournament. She would have been heartbroken to have to go back to wearing her glasses after only two days.

After the near loss of Janae's very first pair of contacts, of course I had to share the story of my first pair of contacts....I was 14 and a freshman in High School. Our gymnasium had a built-into-the-brick-wall drinking fountain, and I foolishly decided my contact needed to be washed off. (Back in the "olden-days" they didn't make soft lenses, I used hard lenses, which could be washed off with plain water.) You can probably guess the outcome of my efforts....the lens washed down the drain. I looked down the drain holes (which if you ask me, were MUCH too large), and much to my surprise, my contact was clinging to the side of the pipe, about half-way down to the elbow where it would be lost to the sewer system forever.

But how to get it back up? We couldn't just open up the pipes, because they were behind the brick wall (what brilliant mind thought that configuration up?). A very resourseful friend suggested dropping a wad of bubble gum on a string down a drain hole, and then pulling the contact lens back up to safety. Theoretically, this was a brilliant plan which should have worked.....but the best laid plans of mice and men.....

We managed to snag the contact on the gum, but it didn't get stuck on very well. We all held our collective breath as my friend gently pulled the string back up the pipe, inch by precarious inch. The thrill of victory was so close we could taste it, but just as we tried to slip the contact through the drain hole, it came loose and fell hopelessly out of sight, never to be seen again....ooooh, the agony of defeat!

Ahhhh, memories. Ü

Strange, yet praiseworthy day....

2008-03-05T19:05:00.003-06:00

I just had a very strange day that I hope won't be repeated anytime soon. Yesterday Luke had a low-grade fever and was pretty fussy and clingy, and since he is such a perfect, happy baby normally, I knew something was wrong. He didn't have any other symptoms other than mildly labored breathing, but I thought I should probably get him checked out either at the ER or at the office today, because we're leaving town early tomorrow morning and will be at the kids' state basketball tournament until late Saturday evening. I sure didn't want to be visiting an out-of-town ER while we're gone. I called our dr on call last night, and he said they'd try to squeeze Luke in today if they could, but if they just didn't have time to see him, I should take Luke to the ER today.

So I called first thing this morning and they said they could squeeze him in at 2:45. But they also wanted me to take Luke to the hospital for a chest x-ray sometime during the morning so they could rule out pneumonia (even though I told them he didn't have any congestion). So this is what my day looked like:

7:45....wake up, get breakfast for Jaden and get him dressed for school
8:15....get Jaden off to preschool
8:30....call drs office for Luke's appt
8:45....take shower
8:47....receive call back from dr's office while IN the shower...thankfully, cell phone was conveniently handy Ü
9:00....put in load of laundry for weekend
10:00..take Luke to hospital for chest xray
11:05..get home from hospital, trade Luke for Jaden with car running
11:06..leave for Jaden's speech therapy appt at hospital
11:50..arrive back home from Jaden's speech therapy
12:00..fix lunch for kids, read through a few emails while eating, but no time to respond
1:15...leave for Jaden's ENT appt
2:35...get home from ENT appt (surgery for tubes & ABR scheduled for 3/26), this time trade Jaden for Luke with car running
2:36...leave for Luke's dr appt
3:00...after clearing Luke of pneumonia & ear infection, PA reports that he is wheezing, then inadvertently discovers a large, hard mass in his abdomen
3:15...DR orders abdominal ultrasound and xray, casually wonders outloud to med student if kids w/DS are more susceptible to GI "tumors" and asks him to go check it out on the internet
3:15...discover magical "cure" for sluggish heartbeat and meaning of scripture admonition to "pray without ceasing"
3:20...take Luke to the radiology dept for second time today, they know Luke by first name
3:25...call Paul to ask him to pray
3:35...Paul shows up at hospital to give his support....what a guy!
3:45...Luke has ultrasound
4:30...Radiologist comes into room to check out mass
4:35...sent back to radiology waiting area to wait for xray
4:40...see Dr and med student in hall by waiting area, Dr stops to say he thinks mass is just stool, but realize that Drs don't leave their busy practice to check out ultrasound results unless they're worried it might be something serious
4:45...Luke has abdominal xray
4:55...leave hospital for home
5:00...pull into driveway, receive call from PA to let us know that Drs are 99% sure mass is just excess stool

WHEW! What a roller-coaster day of up and down emotions and feeling like I was being "tag-teamed" by my two youngest boys, shuttling them back and forth between home and hospital. All I want to do now is curl up and sleep til Sunday, but I still need to finish washing and packing clothes for myself, Jaden, & Luke for the weekend, so guess who'll be burning the midnight oil tonight?

But at least once I do get to bed I'll be able to sleep peacefully after hearing the only news I was praying we'd hear....Luke is ok, he's just constipated! Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!

I'd better get moving!

Ministry opportunity

2008-02-29T22:56:00.014-06:00

Ok, it's not as glamorous as it sounds....Paul and I have been asked to volunteer in our church's baby nursery. Tomorrow morning we ~~have to~~ -- will be privileged to attend a "nursery workers training" meeting so we can learn how to take care of babies. LOL

This evening we each filled out a 7 page "Ministry Volunteer Application Packet & Ministry Intent Form", which includes general information such as our address & phone #, a section about our Christian experience, another section on our Christian ministry experience, a list of personal references, and last but certainly not least, an authorization for a criminal background check. I'll tell you what, these people take their volunteer ministry positions seriously! Ü One question in the Christian ministry section asked me to list any special abilities that I feel would benefit the area in which I am applying to volunteer. The only thing I wrote was "18 years experience as a mother who has literally changed thousands of dirty diapers." Do ya think that might qualify as a "special ability"? hahahahaha

The completed application will be kept in our "permanent file" at the church. It reminds me of my elementary school days, when every grade in every class, every standardized test score, every visit to the principal's office (and no, I wasn't ever sent to the principal's office, I was a good girl!...lol), every honor and award....all ended up in my "permanent file". All teachers had to do when someone started acting up was to make reference to the offense being recorded for all time in his/her "permanent file", and the offender would immediately straighten up. LOL

Seriously though, we are happy to be used by the Lord to minister to the youngest and most innocent lambs in His flock. There's just something about snuggling a baby close to my heart that enables me to feel the Lord's love & compassion. When I lovingly wrap my arms around Luke and draw him close, I can feel my Father's arms lovingly embracing me. And when Luke smiles up at me, it's as if all heaven is smiling right along with him. No, being a nursery worker isn't the most "glamorous" position in the church, nor is it the most visible. But it may very well be one of the most important, at least in God's eyes. "Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me." Matt. 25:40

Myths about a diagnosis of Trisomy 21

2008-02-26T10:18:00.004-06:00

The following article was published on a blog dedicated to sharing inspiring stories about children and adults with Down syndrome:

Myths about a diagnosis of Trisomy 21...

I get emails or phone calls very often from families who have a new diagnosis of T21. Sometimes it is their friends or relatives who make the first contact. Then soon, the parents are emailing or calling. This has brought me a unique perspective of the entire process of receiving the news of Trisomy 21, Down syndrome, in utero. I would love to share some of the things that are said to me, and clear up any confusion.

Myth number 1: My child will die young, as individuals with Down syndrome do not live longer than the mid 20's. Reality: This is simply not true. Individuals are living well into their 50's and even longer, now that proper medical care is being given to treat heart or other life threatening conditions. Many individuals are capable of employment, living independently, and enjoy many hobbies and activites. See our T21 individuals in the news.

Myth number 2: Your child will suffer. Reality: Again, this could not be further from the truth. Many people in the world require corrective surgery. If your child needs surgery for any reason, the medical care given to individuals with Ds is wonderful. You can expect your child to do beautifully, and continue to thrive. While as many as 30-50% my have a heart condition, only approximately 5% will require open heart. The care of that 5%, by qualified pediatric cardiologists, is remarkable. The remaining 25-45% will have other less invasive procedures, or just be monitored. The cardiac care these days is absolutely amazing!! All other corrective surgery is also incredible. Any medical conditions can be treated today, unlike years ago when treatment was unknown. With proper medical care, individuals go on to live happy and wonderful lives!

Myth number 3: The physicians have told me that my child's Down syndrome is worse than other cases. Reality: This is simply impossible to tell in utero. Or even right at birth for that matter. Even children with many surgical needs have gone on to do amazing things. Karen Gaffney is an amazing example of an individual who needed much corrective surgery, and has gone on to do amazing things. She is not unique, this happens all over the world. I have met soo many families who have seen their family member through medical care, and the individual goes on to do beautifully in every way.

Myth number 4: The physicians have told me my child has a mild case of Down syndrome. Reality: While there are many different abilities for individuals with Down syndrome, a physican can not tell in utero or at birth, how a child will fare. Most instances where an individual has a more difficult time learning or behaving, is indication of a dual diagnosis. Typical children have this exact possiblity. If a child needs corrective surgery, that does not mean they will have severe developmental delays. Individuals with Down syndrome benefit from loving homes, early intervention, inclusive education, appropriate medical care and positive public attitudes.

Myth number 5: Your chances of having a child with Down syndrome increases greatly after age 35. Reality: Yes, indeed your chances increase. But let's discuss the word greatly. When we see the estimated rates in the books, you may see that at age 20 it is 1/1231. At age 25 it is 1/887. At age 30 it is 1/685. At age 35 it is 1/274. And finally at age 40 it is 1/78. So, yes, your chance does increase with age. And boy, when you put it that way, it sure does look like it increases greatly. However, if you were to look at these numbers in percentages, they look a little more interesting. Age 20: .08%. Age 30: .15%. Age 35: .36%. Age 40: 1%. So as one physician said to us, "Leave the guilt at the door", because at age 39, our estimated risk was 1/100. That means it was a 1% chance of having a child with Down syndrome. That means we had a 99% chance of not having a child with Down syndrome. He went on to add, "Who would think to not have a child if you have a 99% chance of this not happening?" Now, to set the record straight, this was the way he put it. We say, "Wow, what a miracle. We had a 99% chance of not having this gift from God. Whew, that was close!" We don't ever want to imagine what our life would be like with our our beautiful daughter. So indeed, the numbers do increase. However, when you look at it from a percentage view point, it sure makes this drastic rise, that many professionals talk about, seem pretty insignificant doesn't it? You have a better chance of having other things happen to you. In fact, there are a lot of ailments we all have a greater chance of having than the chance of being blessed with a child with Down syndrome. One additional point to add to this; 80% of all children born with Ds are born to mothers 35 and under. Many think this happens only to older mothers, since there is an increase. However, as you can see, the great increase is not as great as is told, so with the decrease in women having children at older ages, this makes the number of children with Down syndrome being born more often to younger moms. Numbers are interesting aren't they?

Myth number 6: Bringing a child who has Down syndrome into your family will be harmful to your other children. Reality: Again, just not true! In fact it is just the opposite. Your other children actually have a higher chance of becoming more compassionate and accepting of other people. The benefits have been a best kept secret until Dr. Brian Skotko did a study on the affects of having a sibling with Down syndrome. Another unexpected blessing. Read here for more information. Dr. Brian Skotko's study.

Myth number 7: There is a higher divorce rate for families who have a child with Down syndrome. Reality: While divorce can happen in any family, the studies are actually showing it is currently lower in the families who have a member who happens to have Trisomy 21. Perhaps it has something to do with the many lessons they teach us about life. Click here to see more on this.

Myth number 8: This will ruin your life. Reality: Click on this link to see how this has affected the families who have chosen to write about their experiences. I am sure you will see that this has done anything but ruin their lives. It has indeed been a new journey for all of our families, and one that can require many graces at times. (Show me parenting that doesn't need more at some times!) But ruining our lives... that is simply not happening! An extra chromosome is all it is. The fear of that, is much more paralyzing than the reality. Enjoy your pregnancy! Enjoy your baby!

Hidden Treasures, The Trisomy 21 Journey

Watercolour Ponies

2008-02-25T22:25:00.009-06:00

A few days ago Paul was in a nostalgic mood, so he shut the tv down and put in a couple of old cassette tapes....one by Wayne Watson, and then immediately afterwards, another one by David Meece.

One of our teenagers, who shall remain nameless, walked through the room and said, "Who is THAT?!?! He sure sounds weird!" When Paul proudly proclaimed the musician as being a very popular Contemporary Christian artist during our early marriage, our resident connoisseur of "fine music" just sniffed and said in a very condescending, superior tone, "Never heard of 'em", and walked out of the room. The little snot! LOL

I would never add fuel to my teenagers' fire by agreeing with them in their hearing, but even to my ears, those two "oldtimers" from our generation of Contemporary Christian music did sound.....well......OLD! LOL But the message of one song was still just as bittersweet as it was 18 years ago......

~Watercolour Ponies~

by Wayne Watson, c. 1987

There are watercolour ponies
On my refrigerater door
And the shape of something
I don't really recognize
Drawn by careful little fingers
And put proudly on display
A reminder to us all
Of how time flies

Seems an endless mound of laundry
And a stairway laced with toys
Gives a blow by blow
Reminder of the war
That we fight for their well-being
For their greater understanding
To impart a holy reverance
For the Lord

But, baby, what will we do
When it comes back to me and you?
They look a little less
Like little boys every day
Oh, the pleasure of watching
The children growing
Is mixed with a bitter cup
Of knowing the watercolour ponies
Will one day ride away

And the vision can get so narrow
As you view through your tiny world
And little victories can go by
With no applause
But in the greater evaluation
As they fly from your nest of love
May they mount up with wings
As eagles for His cause

Still I wonder, baby, what will we do

When it comes back to me and you?

They look a little less

Like little boys every day

Oh, the pleasure of watching

The children growing

Is mixed with a bitter cup

Of knowing the watercolour ponies

Will one day -- one day

Ride away

After Jared was born, if we'd hear "Watercolor Ponies" on the car radio, Paul and I would both brush tears from our eyes, thinking of how quickly our sweet little baby would be riding away from us, and wishing we could capture those precious moments in time and keep him with us forever.

And now, here we are nearly 20 years later, preparing to send our firstborn child, our baby, out into the world. How can this be? Didn't we just proudly announce his birth to our family and friends? Didn't we just watch him take his first step? Did he just leave for his first day of Kindergarten? Didn't he just hit his first home run in Little League? When did he suddenly become a man?

Our time with Jared is quickly drawing to a close, but even as we drink from this bitter cup, we are so very grateful that he has learned the one lesson we were asked to impart....to have a holy reverence for the Lord. And now Paul and I can be given no greater honor than to proudly stand watch as Jared prepares to mount up with wings as eagles for His cause.

Prunes, the yukky fruit!

2008-02-19T09:27:00.009-06:00

(Turn off the background sound at top right
before playing video.)

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Look out Bahamas, here we come!

2008-02-13T12:21:00.012-06:00

WoW! This has certainly been the week for good news! We just got word this morning that the Sunshine Foundation has granted Jaden's dream! The Sunshine Foundation grants dreams to children ages 3-18 who have serious illnesses, physical disabilities, or who have been abused. We have decided to use this generous grant to take Jaden & Luke on a cruise for families who have children with Down syndrome.

The 3-night Bahamian "Buddy Cruise" will depart Port Canaveral, FL on October 17, 2008. The event is designed to provide an opportunity for families from across America to come together and bring awareness to one of the most frequently occurring chromosomal deviations, as well as promote inclusion for individuals with Down syndrome.

The Buddy Cruise will feature the talent of Sujeet Desai, a 26-year-old accomplished musician born with Down syndrome. He and his wife Carrie have been featured in Wall Street Journal, Time magazine, and have aired on national TV shows such as The View, 20/20, and The Oprah Winfrey show.

Emily Perl Kingsley, who authored "Welcome to Holland", is scheduled to deliver the keynote address: “Thirty Four Years with Down syndrome. The ‘ups’, the ‘downs’. What I've learned from life with Jason.”

As a writer and activist for children with special needs, her experiences with her son Jason (an actor with Down syndrome) inspired her to include people with disabilities into the Sesame Street cast. She has received 17 Emmy Awards and 13 Emmy nominations for her work on SESAME STREET.

I'm sure I'll be writing more about this exciting adventure as our departure date approaches, so don't forget to check back for updates!

Today's Blessings

2008-02-11T21:30:00.005-06:00

This morning we received some very good news in an email from Luke's birth parents. They wanted us to know that they had signed & mailed a release form which will allow our agency to receive a copy of Luke's amended birth certificate, which now lists his full birth name, instead of his last name only. Our agency needed the amended copy so they could apply for his Social Security # and Supplemental Security Income, which we have to get in place before his adoption can be finalized.

Last Sept, after 3.5 months of filling out and submitting reams of paperwork to the Social Security Administration to get Luke's SS#, using his original BC as proof of identity, we were told he would be issued a SS# within 48 hours. But then a few days later someone higher up abruptly changed his/her mind and refused to issue him a SS# until we submitted an *amended* BC with his full name on it, which we were told would take an additional 12-16 weeks! I got so frustrated with the endless bureaucratic red tape that I contacted both of our US representatives to see if they could help. Unfortunately, they didn't help in the least, and probably just managed to make the SSAdm more determined to drag the process out even longer. I finally decided to leave it in the Lord's hands and have faith that it would all happen in His good time.

Anyhoo....it's been a looooong 8 months, and I'm sure the process will take several more, but at least we can finally get this show on the road! Thank you Lord!

Grace and Peace

2008-02-07T19:07:00.001-06:00

Our oldest son Jared, our resident computer guru, helped me figure out how to add background music to my blog, isn't it beautiful? (If you can't hear the music, you need to turn on your speakers.) Thanks so much, Jared! After he finished he reminded me that computer techs typically make around $75 an hour. Hmmmm.....are you sure you wanna go there, Jared? LOL

"Grace and Peace" was written by one of my favorite Christian artists, Fernando Ortega. My prayer is that the beauty and splendor of his tender music will quietly usher you into intimate fellowship with our Heavenly Father through His Son, Jesus Christ, and that the Holy Spirit will bring grace and peace to your hearts.

This is what Fernando had to say about why he wrote and recorded "The Shadow of Your Wings: Hymns and Sacred Songs", which includes "Grace and Peace":

"There's too little time for reflection in my life these days--too little meditation and quiet. As everything about our culture gets louder and more "in-your-face", my ability to concentrate on spiritual things feels thin and compromised. These songs were written in response to that dilemma.
My starting point was the morning mass from the The Book of Common Prayer--a pronouncement of peace, prayers of contrition, the bending of the knee. These things bring me to a right perspective of worship.
From there, the record turns to the Holy Trinity--the faithfulness of the Father, the wooing of the Holy Spirit, the sacrifice and supremacy of Christ. I tried to lay these songs out with a liturgical sense, though in the form of a personal devotion, or "quiet time."
My greatest reward in putting this record together has been in finding rich, new beauty in simple Bible passages I have known all my life."
~~Fernando Ortega

Here are a few rave reviews of the album:

~Cross Rhythms Direct

His first release since 2004, this collection of reworked hymns and sacred songs by US-based singer/songwriter Fernando Ortega is simply spectacular. Ortega's main aim for this release is to offer up music of meditation as an antidote to these loud and busy times and, with the utmost skill and precision that is now his trademark, he carries this off in style. The album itself consists of traditional hymns, some of which have been given new music by the man himself, together with a tasteful seasoning of outstanding original material containing expressions of praise that come close to matching the sheer poetry of the hymn writers.

~LifeWay

Ortega’s The Shadow of Your Wings invites introspection, contemplation, adoration, and exultation. There is a sense that we don’t have to "get this over with in a hurry, because we have so much to do." Rather, there is a peace that pervades the music, encouraging you to spend a little more time just being present; there is permission to sit quietly with no other agenda than to perhaps hear the voice of God.

In this moment in history when there are a hundred voices clamoring for our attention, and down time is frequently considered wasted time, it is utterly refreshing to hear someone issue a call to "Come away, my Beloved." With The Shadow of Your Wings, Fernando Ortega does just that.

~CMCentral

Fernando Ortega returns with an album of hymns and inspirational songs to share a sense of gratitude for [God's] providence with listeners. The Shadow of Your Wings...exudes praise in it's purest musical form. From the opening song...which offers a traditional Christian greeting, to the final strains....that closes the album, listeners are treated to an elegant collection of earnest and heartfelt music that worships our Creator.

After a career that spans over fifteen years [Fernando] continues to craft albums that are experiential. The Shadow continues this trend, allowing listeners to feel as though they've stepped into a sanctuary just in time to participate in an endearing worship service. The stripped down production found on the album is entirely unassuming and lends itself to an intimate setting, making this a rather personal album.

Since our world is so busy and filled with appointments and other distractions, it's a real treat to find an album like this to take your mind off of what's coming at you from all directions. The Shadow of Your Wings is like a musical eddy that reminds us to pause and consider the world around us, to thank our Creator for all that He's given us.

http://www.fernandoortega.com/

Bombing, Abortion, & Down Syndrome

2008-02-02T16:07:00.000-06:00

I was horrified to hear the news accounts of yesterday's bombings in Iraq. For the terrorists to use two innocent women with Down syndrome to carry out their evil intents was beyond barbaric. Civilized nations all over the world have condemned these bombings as senseless acts of cowardice.

And yet I feel it is the height of hypocrisy that the vast majority of society today will continue to actively embrace and encourage "termination" of fetuses diagnosed with disabilities encompassing a wide range of severity, including Down syndrome.

Read what prominent Baptist minister John Piper had to say about yesterday's bombings on his blog this morning:

Bombing, Abortion, & Down Syndrome
Posted: 02 Feb 2008 09:44 AM CST
(Author: John Piper)

Al Qaida has moved another step toward western standards of abortion barbarity in using Down Syndrome women to blow boys and girls to pieces. The news is that this was not suicide bombing, but the detonation of retarded girls at a distance.

The disgust one feels for the kind of heart that does this could reveal to England and America how we should feel when we screen for Down Syndrome babies and then kill them. Compare the stories:

Story One: al Qaida

At Breitbart.com (and most news sources), it is reported that yesterday al Qaida used two women with Down Syndrome to bear the explosives under their clothes and then were detonated remotely killing over 70 people.

Two women suicide bombers who have killed nearly 80 people in Baghdad were
Down's Syndrome victims exploited by al Qaida.

The explosives were detonated by remote control in a co-ordinated attack after the women walked into separate crowded markets, said the chief Iraqi military spokesman in Baghdad General Qassim al-Moussawi.

Other officials said the women were apparently unaware of what they were doing in what could be a new method by suspected Sunni insurgents to subvert toughened security measures.

Story Two: Abortion

Medical News Today:

Although no national data are available, the abortion rate of fetuses with the condition [of Down Syndrome] was found to be 59% in one California study and 92% in an English study.

Steve Calvin at Physicians for Life:

I believe that we are at a tipping point. The counterweight to societal support
for people and families with Down Syndrome is the expanding availability and
promotion of prenatal DS screening tests. When DS is confirmed, abortion is
offered. Increasingly, it is chosen. In England and some major U.S. cities,
more than 90 percent of DS fetuses are aborted.”

New York Times, with reference to Detroit, MI:

Until this year, only pregnant women 35 and older were routinely tested to see if their fetuses had the extra chromosome that causes Down syndrome. As a result many couples were given the diagnosis only at birth. But under a new recommendation from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, doctors have begun to offer a new, safer screening procedure to all pregnant women, regardless of age. About 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis have chosen to have an abortion.

"Nothing Day"

2008-01-30T17:52:00.000-06:00

My girls asked to go to the grocery store this afternoon so they could purchase ingredients to make fruit smoothies. When they got home, they handed me this beautiful bouquet in honor of "Nothing Day". We are so blessed to have such sweet, thoughtful girls!

Future Dreams

2008-01-29T15:44:00.000-06:00

Final thoughts....

Jaden and Luke were created perfectly by God's will and design, and He has a purpose and a plan for each of their lives. God's Word tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that the Lord loves and values each one of us as unique individuals, no matter what our challenges might be. Unfortunately, the national abortion rate for babies who have been diagnosed with Down syndrome is currently estimated to be between 90-95%. Proverbs 24:11-12 shows us how God would have us respond to these precious babies...

“Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?”

Our hope is that families who are facing a negative prenatal diagnosis will be supported and encouraged to joyfully embrace their precious gifts from God instead of being encouraged to abort by the majority of society and the medical profession.

Over the last few months, we have been feeling the tug to help start an adoption ministry at our church to encourage & educate families who are (or might be) interested in adopting. Family Life, Focus on the Family, Steven Curtis Chapman, and many other Christian organizations have teamed up to form an orphan ministry called Voice of the Orphan, and their respective websites have all sorts of resources available to help churches start adoption ministries. We recently approached our pastor about getting one started, and we're very excited about this wonderful opportunity. In the meantime, we'll do all we can to encourage/educate individual families as the Lord brings them across our path. And maybe some will open up their hearts and homes to one (or more) of God’s very special treasures through the miracle of adoption.

Miraculous Dreams

2008-01-29T15:41:00.000-06:00

Then wonder of wonders, on May 23, 2007, an email titled simply "Luke" came into our inbox. When we realized that Luke was the same baby we had been chosen to adopt in January, our hearts were filled with joy. After Luke’s birth, his birth parents' plans with the other adoptive family fell through. At that time, several of their extended family members came forward to adopt Luke, but the birth parents didn't feel the Lord's peace about them either.

Throughout this entire time, the Lord kept bringing our family back to their minds and hearts, and after prayerful consideration, they decided to contact us again to see if we were still interested. If so, they would see our willingness as the Lord’s confirmation that we were the family He had chosen for their baby.

Later that evening as we shared the events of the previous days and weeks with the birthparents, they were amazed at how the Lord had miraculously worked to bring us all back together, and each of us felt an overwhelming sense of peace that it was His will for us to adopt their baby. Ten days later Patrice flew to the birth family’s state, and after waiting two long weeks for all the adoption paperwork to be approved, she finally brought our precious Luke Samuel home on June 15th, just in time for Father's Day.

Four years ago, the Lord miraculously brought Jaden into our lives, and now, He has given us a second little miracle, our sweet little Luke. Of course we had no way of knowing it at the time, but looking back, we can now see how the Lord used many different people we encountered along our journey to mold and shape our hearts until we were finally ready to accept HIS perfect will.

The Lord gently reminded us that He is the One who orchestrates the details of our lives, and that being blessed with Jaden and Luke was never due to any efforts we made to find a child. But as we surrendered our hopes and dreams to His will, He was able to carry out His perfect plan for our family. Each step of our journey had been leading us to the destination He had intended from the very beginning, we just had to be willing and obedient to follow Him wherever He might lead.

Reawakened Dreams

2008-01-29T15:23:00.000-06:00

Throughout the summer and fall of 2005, we slowly came to realize that the Lord was calling us to open our hearts and home to another child with Down syndrome. Over the next year and a half, there were many times we doubted the Lord's plan, and several times we detoured down a wrong path, but each time the Lord was faithful to confirm His call in our hearts and get us back on the right path.

Finally, in January '07, we received a call about an unborn baby boy who had been diagnosed with Down syndrome. His Christian parents were having serious marital struggles, and not knowing where else to turn, his mother made an appointment for an abortion....thank God she was unable to follow through with her plans! They eventually decided to explore the possibility of placing their baby for adoption, hoping to find a Christian, rural Midwestern family who would lovingly embrace their son’s disability. We prayerfully consented to be considered, and when the adoption worker called a week later to let us know the parents had chosen us to adopt their baby, our hearts were filled with joyful anticipation!

Over the next few weeks we communicated directly with the birth parents, but unfortunately, things took a bad turn around the middle of February, and on March 1st, our adoption worker broke the devastating news that the birth parents had chosen another family for their baby.

During the next 6-7 weeks, feelings of desperation filled our days. We believed we had "messed up" the Lord's plan for our family by being insensitive to the birth parents' anguish, and now we needed to "fix" it. We spent hours upon hours searching for another child to adopt, but one day in mid-April, the Lord showed us that our endlessly obsessive searching was taking a huge toll on our family. When we finally made a commitment to leave our family's future in the Lord's hands, His peace flooded our hearts.

Fulfilled Dreams

2008-01-29T10:57:00.000-06:00

We didn't even want to dream that this could be "the one", in case our hopes got dashed yet again. So as we sent off our family profile and homestudy, we pretended that it wouldn't matter if we weren't chosen, but deep down, we knew this was probably our last and final hope. Our entire future was riding on this agency's decision.

And then three days later we got "THE CALL"! The one that every hopeful adoptive family anxiously awaits, the one that changes their lives forever. Seven words....one insignificant little sentence...."If you still want him, he's yours".....and we FINALLY understood the Lord's plan. All the past heartaches & disappointments instantly made perfect and complete sense, for they were the tools He used to prepare our hearts to be ready to welcome our new son. We hadn't labored in vain after all.

The day we accepted baby Jaden into our hearts and home was one of the happiest days of our lives. Jaden has been such a joy to us all, and now we cannot even imagine how empty our lives would be without him. He has woven his lively and loving little personality into the very fabric of our hearts, and we love him as much as if we had given birth to him.

Only God could see the end of our journey before we had even begun. Only He knew exactly where we needed to go and how we needed to get there. Only He could make such a beautiful miracle happen. Only He could fill our hearts with laughter and joy.

Researching Dreams

2008-01-29T09:32:00.000-06:00

If the Lord was calling us to special needs adoption, then we needed to educate ourselves as much as possible, so we totally immersed ourselves in articles and books about parenting a child with Down syndrome. Our thirst for information was almost unquenchable. The more we took in, the more we desired, and it didn't take long before we were well and truly hooked.

To fill the days as we anxiously awaited the birthmother's decision, we joined a Down syndrome adoption email group, hoping to connect with other families who could share their experiences, good and bad. Even though we weren't new to adoption, we were novices in the area of Down syndrome adoption. The books and articles we read were very informative, but they were missing something vitally important--the human connection. The group welcomed us with open arms, and we felt an almost instant kinship with them. Family after family confirmed that we were finally on the right track, and that we would never regret our decision. As they encouraged us, our excitement grew by leaps and bounds.

Three weeks after we agreed to be considered for the unborn baby girl, a member of our new group posted information about a 12-month old baby boy in Colorado who desperately needed a home. Even though we had our hearts set on a baby girl, this little boy sounded very promising, but we were reluctant to submit interest for him until we knew for sure about the first one. A quick call to the agency revealed that the birthmother was leaning heavily towards another family, so they gave their blessing for us to pursue this new situation. As we made initial contact with the Colorado agency, little did we know the Lord was poised to change our lives forever right around the next bend of our journey.

Confirming Dreams

2008-01-29T08:29:00.000-06:00

As we wrestled with our decision, we asked the Lord to either confirm this new direction by giving us peace, or turn us away from it if this wasn't His will. Two days later, the following poem was published in the "Dear Abby" column.....

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

By the time we got the return call from the agency 5 days later, the only answer that gave us the Lord's peace was "yes". At that point we weren't able to give them a resounding YES!, but it was a yes, nonetheless. As excited as we'd been to adopt at the beginning of our adoption journey, now we were almost hoping the birthmother wouldn't choose our family to adopt her baby.

Surrendered Dreams

2008-01-28T22:30:00.000-06:00

As the year drew to a close, we sadly came to the conclusion that it was very unlikely we were going to find a child before our homestudy expired. We were finally ready to accept that the Lord's answer was a resounding "no", so we surrendered our dreams to the Lord's will and stopped trying to beat a dead horse. As difficult as it was to give up our plans to adopt, we knew it was time to destroy all of our adoption research and wipe the word "adoption" off of our computer's hard drive so we could heal and move on. Our dreams had been crushed from every possible angle, and it became painfully evident that we had heard Him wrong......Or so we thought.....

We were nearly finished purging our computer, but just as we were set to delete the link to a special needs adoption website, the Lord's still, small voice whispered, "Stop. Try this one again." OooKaaaay....We had applied to that particular organization 8 months earlier, soon after we started looking into foster-care adoption, but we hadn't heard a single word from them. No welcoming email, no "thank you for submitting interest", nothing. But if the Lord wanted us to try again, we were willing to give it a go.

After submitting our interest form, we had absolutely no expectations of being contacted by the agency. Maybe that's how the Lord wanted it, so He could "surprise" us. As parents we know that some of the most meaningful and appreciated gifts are given when they're the least expected.

The very next day the agency contacted us...on a Saturday, no less! Would we be interested in being considered to adopt an unborn baby girl who had been diagnosed with Down syndrome? Wh-wh-WHAT?!?! We were floored at this new development. "Lord, that surely couldn't be your plan for our family?!?! ........ could it? We're stunned....we're scared....we're inadequate.....we can't DO this!!" But all the Lord wanted to know was, were we willing? The previous 17 months of our adoption journey had been leading us to this one, defining moment. Were we really willing to go anywhere....do anything....accept any terms.....to follow the Lord?

The agency agreed to give us several days to think it over, but they needed an answer one way or the other by the middle of the next week. The next several days were tumultuous, to say the least, and we gave new meaning to the verse, "pray without ceasing." Ü

Sidetracked Dreams

2008-01-28T20:40:00.000-06:00

After being stung twice by private infant adoption, we decided to go a totally different direction in our search and concentrate on finding a child to adopt through the foster-care system. For those who know the end of our story it may seem like we got a bit sidetracked, but we know the Lord used the experiences we had over the next several months to mold and shape our vision of the "perfect" child into HIS vision of the perfect child.

Remember our original vision at the beginning of our adoption journey? We would adopt a typically developing infant born to a Christian teenager. Then we had to redefine our dream to include a child born to a "different" sort of birthmother. But now that we were exploring adopting through the system, we were opening up a whole 'nother can of worms. The vast majority of kids in the system have suffered abuse or neglect at the hands of their birthfamily, which leaves emotional scars that sometimes never heal. Once again, we were forced to widen our acceptable parameters until our vision bore absolutely no resemblance to the original.

Over the next 8 months we searched each state's photolistings on an almost daily basis, and indentified over 100 different children who we thought might fit well with our family. Several times we were contacted by a child's caseworker, but we were never chosen for any of them. It was soooo frustrating, because here we were, ready and willing to provide a loving home for a child who desperately needed one, but we were rebuffed over and over again.

Unfortunately, we learned through the school of hard knocks that the system wasn't designed to get kids out, it was designed to keep them in so states can keep receiving federal dollars for their care. The sad fact is, children will continue to languish in foster-care until states receive a financial incentive to place children in permanent families.

Shattered Dreams

2008-01-28T18:46:00.000-06:00

Even though all the signs were pointing to the breakdown of our adoption plans with Misty, we were still hoping and praying that the Lord would work a miracle, against all odds. A friend of ours shared a verse that really encouraged us.....

"They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the LORD, and their offspring with them." Isaiah 65:23

We were sure this was a promise given specifically to us, and that the Lord would intervene so the adoption could go through as planned. Unfortunately, two weeks before the baby's due date, we received more devastating news from the facilitator. She agreed to help Misty find another family if we refused to give her the money she wanted. In our minds, Misty was selling her baby to the highest bidder, which was morally & ethically reprehensible to us. We knew the Lord couldn't bless the adoption if we went against His Word, so with heavy hearts, we refused to meet Misty's demands. The facilitator emailed us the very next day to let us know another family had stepped up to adopt Misty's baby and give her the requested money "under the table".

Oh, our hearts were devastated beyond belief! What had we done wrong? How could God allow this to happen? How could this new family just swoop in at the last minute and "steal" our precious baby? Why had He promised that we would not labor in vain, when it was painfully evident that we HAD labored in vain, not just once, but now a second time?

For weeks afterward we walked around in a fog of grief and sorrow. Little Jaeci, whom we'd never met but already loved like she was our own, wasn't coming home after all, and her crib became a silent and empty reminder of all we had lost. We listened to Fernando Ortega's "If You Were Mine" again and again and again as we tried to make sense of this unthinkable turn of events.

Truthfully, we had decided to totally abandon our adoption dreams, because the failures were just too heartbreaking. But thankfully the Lord wouldn't let us give up. We didn't feel feel His peace until we once again committed ourselves to follow Him wherever He might lead. At that point it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that since we had already paid for our homestudy, we should continue searching for a child to adopt until it expired at the end of the year. If the Lord didn't bring another child into our family by then, we would see this as His answer and move on.

Hopeful Dreams

2008-01-27T22:29:00.000-06:00

We were definitely outside our comfort zone while we were matched to adopt Misty's baby, so we had to fully lean on the Lord and seek His wisdom each time a new challenge in our relationship with Misty presented itself.

Because she was in jail we weren't allowed to contact her directly, so all correspondence had to go through the facilitator. We had a few rough spots right at first when Misty asked us to pay for expenses that weren't allowed by Kansas adoption law, but after we gently refused, she seemed to accept our decision and move on.

In mid-November, shortly after she was paroled to a lock-down drug & alcohol rehabilitation center, we met with Misty, the facilitator, and our attorney. Misty assured us over and over that we were the family she wanted for her baby, and that she wouldn't change her mind. A week later she asked us to go with her to her ultrasound appointment, where we found out she was expecting a baby girl. We had been secretly hoping for a boy, but we were over-the-moon ecstatic anyway. Seeing the baby on the screen and being handed the ultrasound pictures finally made it seem like the adoption was really going to happen....it wasn't just a dream. We decided to name the baby Jaeci, and over the next few weeks we started fixing up the nursery & buying lots of pink ruffly outfits. Friends helped fill the baby's closet with their gently used baby clothes, and we were almost giddy with anticipation.

Misty's birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, so we asked and received permission to take her out to dinner and a movie, as long as we brought her back to the facility by suppertime. We had a nice time with her at a local buffet, but afterwards she decided she'd rather just go to a park and watch the kids play instead of going to a movie. When we dropped her off at the facility, she gave us both a big hug and thanked us for the day. We had no way of knowing it would be the last time we'd see her.

A few days later our facilitator called to say that Misty had signed herself out of the half-way house to go to the first day of her work-release job, but instead of going to work, she disappeared without a trace. We prayed almost continuously until we got word the next evening that she had turned herself back in to the half-way house. Unfortunately, she didn't pass her drug & alcohol screening, so she was immediately transferred back to the county jail to serve out the remainder of her original sentence.

Once again, all of our contact with her had to go through the facilitator, which was frustratingly slow. The baby was due in less than two months, but we weren't able to see or talk to Misty, or be reassured that all was well with our relationship and that the adoption would proceed as planned. We felt cut off with no way of reestablishing any type of positive, emotional raport with Misty. Then a few days after Christmas we got a phone call from the facilitator that rocked our world.

Misty had decided to lay all her cards on the table, repeating her earlier demands for money to pay her past bills. But this time she went a step further....if we didn't pay up, she would find a family who would. To say we were devastated at this turn of events would be the understatement of the year! We felt like she was dangling a carrot in front of our noses, keeping it just out of reach until we agreed to her terms. If we didn't agree, we would lose all hope of adopting her baby. But on the other hand, if we gave her the money (illegally), we'd be forced to abandon all of our moral & ethical convictions. We were caught between a rock and a hard place.

We finally decided to call Misty's bluff and hope that she'd realize she didn't have any other options. Several weeks went by with no word, so we continued to send her weekly snack allowance to show her we were still willing to abide by the original agreement we had with her.

Redefining Dreams

2008-01-25T12:11:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned in the last post, we weren't sure we even wanted to be considered for the new situation, because Misty didn't fit our vision of the "perfect" birthmother. In our minds we would swoop in to "rescue" a Christian teenager who had "slipped up" with one of the boys in her youth group. Pretty naive, huh?

Misty was about as far from our original vision as she could get.....she was a drug addict/alcoholic who worked as a "lady of the evening", she didn't know the identity of the baby's father, and she was currently serving time in a county jail. With all of those red flags, we were very reluctant to "go there".

But as we sought the Lord and prayed for His guidance, a wise friend challenged us to rethink our definition of the perfect birthmother. Who was more in need of rescuing? A Christian teenager who most likely would have the support of a loving family? Or a lost soul who had no options, no support, no family, nothing. If no one came forward to adopt her baby, would Misty decide she had no other options except to abort?

Our friend also shared a passage of scripture that finally helped us understand the Lord's heart for Misty and her baby, and how He was leading us to respond to their need.....

"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?" Prov. 24:10-12

Ultimately, it all came down to one question.....Were we strong enough to follow the Lord into frightening and uncharted territory to rescue this precious baby from a very uncertain future, or possibly even death? Or would we turn tail and run at the first hint of trouble? As we prayed and struggled to answer that question, the path the Lord was laying out before us became very clear, and we gave our permission to be considered for Misty's baby. Three weeks later when we got word that she had chosen our family to adopt her baby, we had no way of knowing we would have to ask ourselves that same question many, many times over the next four months while we awaited the baby's birth.

Broken Dreams

2008-01-24T13:50:00.000-06:00

During our two month wait for the first baby to be born, we talked to Paul's cousin (who had worked for an adoption agency for several years) about other available options. He strongly discouraged us from pursuing adopting through the foster-care system, due to all the miles of bureaucratic red tape we'd need to wade through.

Instead, he encouraged us to contact an acquaintance who had a facilitation ministry helping connect birthparents with adoptive parents. The best part was, she didn't charge anything for her services, which would fit very well into our extremely limited adoption budget. We attempted to contact her, but when she didn't return our calls, we were almost ready to give up hope.

Finally, in late August we decided to try one more time, and if we weren't able to connect with her, we would know the Lord was leading us in a different direction. Much to our surprise, after two months of leaving messages but never receiving a return call, she answered the phone! She had been planning on calling us that week about a new situation she thought might fit our family. As she shared the details of this young woman's circumstances, we became more and more discouraged, because the situation didn't sound at all like what we'd be interested in. But we finally agreed to pray and seek the Lord before making our decision, even though neither one of us felt this would be "the one".

The very next day we received word that the first young woman we had contacted had delivered her baby son and was determined to keep him, even though her circumstances were very dire. We were heartbroken, and didn't know what purpose would God have in leading us to this baby just to leave our arms empty? If we went with this new situation, there weren't any guarantees it would work out either. How many disappointments would we have to face before the Lord would bless us with another child?

Thankfully, the Lord used Fernando Ortega's "If You Were Mine" to soothe our wounded spirits, and once again, we committed to follow the Lord wherever He would lead.

Pursuing Dreams

2008-01-24T13:47:00.000-06:00

Because Patrice has a sister who was adopted from Korea in the mid-70's, she started researching international adoption on the internet. But it became painfully evident within a few short hours that this option would not be open to us, due to our age, family size, and limited income. Private domestic or foster-care adoption seemed to be out of reach as well, but before we gave up completely, we asked the Lord to open the doors according to His will.

Several days later we spoke with a local friend who had adopted an infant through private adoption, and she encouraged us to pursue that option. A mutual friend had recently had contact with a young unwed mother who had attended our church as a young teen. She had two young toddlers and was expecting her third in a few months....she felt so overwhelmed with the thought of parenting three small children with no husband or extended family support that she was exploring placing her new baby for adoption.

After a few days of prayer, we finally decided to pursue this first lead, and with much fear and trepidation, we sent out our very first "dear birthmom" letter. Our friend informed us a few weeks later that the young woman had decided to parent her baby, but we decided to wait until after the baby's birth before pursuing another lead, in case she changed her mind.

Awakened Dreams

2008-01-24T08:46:00.003-06:00

In the spring of 2002 the Lord started to rekindle our long-dormant dreams. Interestingly enough, the first step on our adoption journey had nothing to do with adoption.

We were thrilled when we had the opportunity to attend a Fernando Ortega concert in March '02. Right before the intermission, Fernando asked the audience to prayerfully consider supporting a child through Compassion International, then he sang a hauntingly beautiful lullaby called "If You Were Mine".....

(Turn off the background music at top right before starting the video. This is actually a powerpoint presentation of our family that we created in 2006, after we adopted Jaden and felt the Lord's call to adopt a second child...but I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?)

If You Were Mine

by Fernando Ortega

When my heart is troubled and I am weighed down,

Then I like to think of how this lonesome world would be

If I could see your face, or hold you in my arms

If you were mine, if you were mine.

If you had a bad dream I would jump inside it,

And I would fight for you with all the strength that I could find.

I would lead you home by your tiny hand

If you were mine, if you were mine.

I would sing of love on the blackest night.

I would sing of God, and how His goodness fills our lives.

I would sing to you, ‘til the morning light

If you were mine, if you were mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If You Were Mine" was written after Fernando and his wife experienced a failed adoption. It's poignant message touched our hearts in a way we wouldn't fully understand for several more years.

Several months later we were privileged to hear Ken Ham from Answers in Genesis speak at our state homeschool convention. The central theme to his messages that weekend was that one of the best ways to fulfill the Lord's call to reach the world was by building Godly families.

For years we had struggled with finding our place in God's kingdom...like most Christians, we had a burning desire to be used by the Lord, but He never opened any doors to ministry opportunities. But over the next few days as we meditated on Ken Ham's messages, we had what some might call a "light-bulb moment". We realized that if we never accomplished anything great in the eyes of the world, if we never became famous or amassed huge amounts of wealth, if we never reached thousands for the Lord through a "Billy Graham" type of ministry, if we would simply raise our children to be Godly, we would have fulfilled God's purpose for our lives. WoW!

After all those years of searching for the right ministry opportunity, the path the Lord was laying out before us suddenly became very clear, and we finally understood that He was leading us in a totally new and exciting direction--to provide a loving and Godly home to a child through adoption. We believed with all our hearts that this was His will for our family, and even though we didn't know specifically what or whom the Lord had planned for us, we were all very excited to begin our adoption journey!

Dawning Dreams

2008-01-23T23:33:00.000-06:00

It's very hard to believe, but this last September we celebrated 20 years of marriage. As we exchanged our vows before God and our assembled family and friends, if we'd had any inkling of the Lord's plan for our family, we probably would have both run screaming from the altar. (just kidding Ü )

All joking aside, our eight precious children are treasured gifts from heaven, and we are humbled and honored that we were chosen by God to be their parents...six through the miracle of birth, and two through the miracle of adoption. And to help you fully understand how adoption has touched our lives, we feel we must, as the lyrics of a popular song instruct, “start at the very beginning”.

During the first 15 months of our marriage as we experienced the heartache of infertility, the Lord laid a burden on our hearts to minister His love and hope to women facing a crisis pregnancy who might be considering abortion. We had also begun exploring the possibility of building our family through adoption, but our plans had to be put on hold when the Lord unexpectedly gave us the best Christmas present we could have asked for -- a positive pregnancy test. Ü Our first son, Jared Paul, was born the following summer.

Our second son, Jason Daniel, arrived a mere 16 months later, and when he was a few months old, we began attending counselor training classes at a crisis pregnancy center in Colorado Springs. But the Lord had other plans for our family, and in 1991, before we were able to complete our training, we felt His leading to relocate to Kansas.

Over the next seven years, the Lord blessed us with four additional children -- Janae Alyse, Jalyn Nicole, Jamye Chanielle, and Jacob Seth -- and we were very content with our "perfect family" of three boys and three girls. In the busy-ness of our lives, we thought our burden to counsel women facing crisis pregnancies and abortion was just a "pipe dream" destined never to be fulfilled, but we can see now that the Lord was just biding His time.

Welcome!

2008-01-23T14:57:00.000-06:00

The Lord has blessed our 20 years of marriage with 8 beautiful children...six through the miracle of birth -- Jared, 18; Jason, 17; Janae, 15; Jalyn, 13; Jamye, 11, and Jacob, 9 -- and through the miracle of adoption, with two sweet baby boys who have Down syndrome. 13 month old Jaden, who is now 5, joined our family in December 2003, and we welcomed 6 week old Luke into our hearts and home in June '07. What a blessing each one of our precious children has been to us...and now after all these years, we can truthfully say, "Eight IS Enough!" Ü

Our family has a wide variety of interests, but two areas that will probably get more than their fair share of discussion on our blog are homeschooling and adoption. While we realize these subjects may never impact your lives in the same way they have ours, it is our hope that as we share our everyday joys and struggles, our stories will be a testimony of the abundant love, grace, & mercy our Father has freely given us.

May the Lord shower His blessings on you all!

Eight is ~NOT~ Enuf

Thank you for all the birthday greetings!

an open letter to my brothers and sisters in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families:

March 1st, 2010

Great news!

Minn. bridge collapse widow adopts Haitian twins

Comparing Apples to Oranges

Adopted for Life....and in Death

Freed to Visit Orphans

Give Us Peace

Announcing.....

No one ever told me...

Big changes ahead

Happy Birthday, Jared!

How do *I* spell relief? P-O-T-T-Y !!!!!

Gotcha Day, One Year Later!

Happy Belated 1st Birthday, sweet baby boy!

~I Love you, Mom~

Adoption As Mission Work

Small praises

Please pray for Todd & Angie Smith

Long day, good results

The prodigal has been found....

Trying times

Daddy's little boy

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!

Parenting your parents

A little bragging.....

Jaden's school picture

Today's math lesson.....13 x 3 (+ 10) = OLD!

Great news!

Memories

Strange, yet praiseworthy day....

Ministry opportunity

Myths about a diagnosis of Trisomy 21

Watercolour Ponies

Prunes, the yukky fruit!

Look out Bahamas, here we come!

Today's Blessings

Grace and Peace

Bombing, Abortion, & Down Syndrome

"Nothing Day"

Future Dreams

Miraculous Dreams

Reawakened Dreams

Fulfilled Dreams

Researching Dreams

Confirming Dreams

Surrendered Dreams

Sidetracked Dreams

Shattered Dreams

Hopeful Dreams

Redefining Dreams

Broken Dreams

Pursuing Dreams

Awakened Dreams

Dawning Dreams

Welcome!

How do I spell relief? P-O-T-T-Y !!!!!