We were definitely outside our comfort zone while we were matched to adopt Misty's baby, so we had to fully lean on the Lord and seek His wisdom each time a new challenge in our relationship with Misty presented itself.
Because she was in jail we weren't allowed to contact her directly, so all correspondence had to go through the facilitator. We had a few rough spots right at first when Misty asked us to pay for expenses that weren't allowed by Kansas adoption law, but after we gently refused, she seemed to accept our decision and move on.
In mid-November, shortly after she was paroled to a lock-down drug & alcohol rehabilitation center, we met with Misty, the facilitator, and our attorney. Misty assured us over and over that we were the family she wanted for her baby, and that she wouldn't change her mind. A week later she asked us to go with her to her ultrasound appointment, where we found out she was expecting a baby girl. We had been secretly hoping for a boy, but we were over-the-moon ecstatic anyway. Seeing the baby on the screen and being handed the ultrasound pictures finally made it seem like the adoption was really going to happen....it wasn't just a dream. We decided to name the baby Jaeci, and over the next few weeks we started fixing up the nursery & buying lots of pink ruffly outfits. Friends helped fill the baby's closet with their gently used baby clothes, and we were almost giddy with anticipation.
Misty's birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, so we asked and received permission to take her out to dinner and a movie, as long as we brought her back to the facility by suppertime. We had a nice time with her at a local buffet, but afterwards she decided she'd rather just go to a park and watch the kids play instead of going to a movie. When we dropped her off at the facility, she gave us both a big hug and thanked us for the day. We had no way of knowing it would be the last time we'd see her.
Because she was in jail we weren't allowed to contact her directly, so all correspondence had to go through the facilitator. We had a few rough spots right at first when Misty asked us to pay for expenses that weren't allowed by Kansas adoption law, but after we gently refused, she seemed to accept our decision and move on.
In mid-November, shortly after she was paroled to a lock-down drug & alcohol rehabilitation center, we met with Misty, the facilitator, and our attorney. Misty assured us over and over that we were the family she wanted for her baby, and that she wouldn't change her mind. A week later she asked us to go with her to her ultrasound appointment, where we found out she was expecting a baby girl. We had been secretly hoping for a boy, but we were over-the-moon ecstatic anyway. Seeing the baby on the screen and being handed the ultrasound pictures finally made it seem like the adoption was really going to happen....it wasn't just a dream. We decided to name the baby Jaeci, and over the next few weeks we started fixing up the nursery & buying lots of pink ruffly outfits. Friends helped fill the baby's closet with their gently used baby clothes, and we were almost giddy with anticipation.
Misty's birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, so we asked and received permission to take her out to dinner and a movie, as long as we brought her back to the facility by suppertime. We had a nice time with her at a local buffet, but afterwards she decided she'd rather just go to a park and watch the kids play instead of going to a movie. When we dropped her off at the facility, she gave us both a big hug and thanked us for the day. We had no way of knowing it would be the last time we'd see her.
A few days later our facilitator called to say that Misty had signed herself out of the half-way house to go to the first day of her work-release job, but instead of going to work, she disappeared without a trace. We prayed almost continuously until we got word the next evening that she had turned herself back in to the half-way house. Unfortunately, she didn't pass her drug & alcohol screening, so she was immediately transferred back to the county jail to serve out the remainder of her original sentence.
Once again, all of our contact with her had to go through the facilitator, which was frustratingly slow. The baby was due in less than two months, but we weren't able to see or talk to Misty, or be reassured that all was well with our relationship and that the adoption would proceed as planned. We felt cut off with no way of reestablishing any type of positive, emotional raport with Misty. Then a few days after Christmas we got a phone call from the facilitator that rocked our world.
Misty had decided to lay all her cards on the table, repeating her earlier demands for money to pay her past bills. But this time she went a step further....if we didn't pay up, she would find a family who would. To say we were devastated at this turn of events would be the understatement of the year! We felt like she was dangling a carrot in front of our noses, keeping it just out of reach until we agreed to her terms. If we didn't agree, we would lose all hope of adopting her baby. But on the other hand, if we gave her the money (illegally), we'd be forced to abandon all of our moral & ethical convictions. We were caught between a rock and a hard place.
We finally decided to call Misty's bluff and hope that she'd realize she didn't have any other options. Several weeks went by with no word, so we continued to send her weekly snack allowance to show her we were still willing to abide by the original agreement we had with her.
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