Surrendered Dreams

As the year drew to a close, we sadly came to the conclusion that it was very unlikely we were going to find a child before our homestudy expired. We were finally ready to accept that the Lord's answer was a resounding "no", so we surrendered our dreams to the Lord's will and stopped trying to beat a dead horse. As difficult as it was to give up our plans to adopt, we knew it was time to destroy all of our adoption research and wipe the word "adoption" off of our computer's hard drive so we could heal and move on. Our dreams had been crushed from every possible angle, and it became painfully evident that we had heard Him wrong......Or so we thought.....

We were nearly finished purging our computer, but just as we were set to delete the link to a special needs adoption website, the Lord's still, small voice whispered, "Stop. Try this one again." OooKaaaay....We had applied to that particular organization 8 months earlier, soon after we started looking into foster-care adoption, but we hadn't heard a single word from them. No welcoming email, no "thank you for submitting interest", nothing. But if the Lord wanted us to try again, we were willing to give it a go.

After submitting our interest form, we had absolutely no expectations of being contacted by the agency. Maybe that's how the Lord wanted it, so He could "surprise" us. As parents we know that some of the most meaningful and appreciated gifts are given when they're the least expected.

The very next day the agency contacted us...on a Saturday, no less! Would we be interested in being considered to adopt an unborn baby girl who had been diagnosed with Down syndrome? Wh-wh-WHAT?!?! We were floored at this new development. "Lord, that surely couldn't be your plan for our family?!?! ........ could it? We're stunned....we're scared....we're inadequate.....we can't DO this!!" But all the Lord wanted to know was, were we willing? The previous 17 months of our adoption journey had been leading us to this one, defining moment. Were we really willing to go anywhere....do anything....accept any terms.....to follow the Lord?

The agency agreed to give us several days to think it over, but they needed an answer one way or the other by the middle of the next week. The next several days were tumultuous, to say the least, and we gave new meaning to the verse, "pray without ceasing." Ü