Friday, October 31, 2008

Announcing.....

...the birth and adoption of our Russian Princess, Jaeci Joanna. Jaeci arrived on October 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm, at Lennox Hill Hospital in New York, New York, less than two blocks away from Central Park on the Upper East Side. She weighed 10.5 pounds, which necessitated a Cesarean delivery, then afterwards she had a little trouble clearing the excess fluid from her lungs, so she was placed in the neonatal intensive care unit for a few days. Like Jaden & Luke, Jaeci has Down syndrome, and she also has a small PDA (patent ductus arteriosis....aka small hole) in her heart which doesn't even require medication, but otherwise, she is very healthy.

The day after Jaeci's birth I caught the first flight out and arrived in Newark, NJ late that evening. Friends who I had stayed with during Luke's adoption last year found the baby and me a place to stay in New York while we wait for NY and KS to approve all the adoption paperwork. The family we're staying with has an adult son with Down syndrome who lives with them, and they were all very excited to help us out. They have lovingly embraced us, and now Jaeci has two new "uncles", Kevin & Steve, and a new "aunt" Jan. What a blessing they have been! We spent Halloween evening roasting marshmallows and making s'mores for all the little trick-or-treaters who paraded by our hosts' driveway.

Jaeci's birthparents are both Russian immigrants, and in Russian culture, almost no one keeps their special needs babies. If they survive pregnancy & birth, SN babies are placed in government orphanages, then somewhere between the ages of 4-5, they are transferred to mental institutions, where the vast majority die within the first year due to lack of necessary medical care, therapies, attention, etc., but mostly because they have no one to love them. Even though Jaeci's birthparents live in the US now, most of their family members still live in Russia, and it would have been culturally unacceptable for them to keep her. They both love her very much, but they wanted her to grow up in a loving family who would accept her unquestioningly, instead of being ostracized because of her disability.

We weren't planning or even hoping to adopt another child, but when the Lord unexpectedly brought this precious baby girl into our lives, we couldn't say no. Some might think we're "off our rockers", but we are thrilled to be a part of the Lord's plan for little Jaeci's life. She is so sweet and precious, and we already know she will be a tremendous blessing to our family.

Jaeci and I are now caught in a bit of a legal limbo, approved by NY but still waiting for KS's approval, but we hope to be home within the next few days. I forgot my camera, so I'll have to wait to post more pictures until we get home, but here are two that were taken with my cell phone....

One more thing...we needed to find a new name for our blog, because it seems eight is NOT enuf. haha (Even though the title of our blog has changed, as far as I know, our blog address will remain the same.) Feel free to come visit here anytime!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

No one ever told me...


No one ever told me
That holding my sweet baby boy
Would end much, much too soon.

No one ever told me
That giving you freedom to grow
Would give you wings to fly.

No one ever told me
That watching you become a man
Would be so bittersweet.

No one ever told me
That being at home without you
Would feel so incomplete.

No one ever told me
That leaving you in the Lord's hands
Would leave my hands feeling empty.

No one ever told me
That answering God's call on your life
Would lead you far, far away.

No one ever told me
That following God's plan for my life
Would produce such a Godly harvest in yours.

No one ever told me
That releasing what I wasn't meant to keep
Would return that which can never be lost.

I love you, Son, go with God...

~Patrice McCarty, 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

Friday, August 15, 2008

Big changes ahead

We found out a few days ago that we'll be going through a big change in a couple of weeks. Late Wednesday Jared came into the house and sat down at my computer...I noticed that he was looking at Central Bible College's website, and when I stepped over to my desk to get something (no, I wasn't prying...lol), Jared told me that during youth group, the Lord touched his heart, and while he was talking to our pastor about his future after youth group, he finally broke down in tears. As they prayed, the Lord showed him that instead of working and taking the correspondence course, He wants Him he to go to college, which starts in a little over a week. Jared had been fasting and praying over the last several weeks, seeking the Lord for clear direction for his future, and the Lord was faithful to reveal His plan for Jared's life.

I think the Lord had been preparing me for Jared's news all day long...you know how when you know something important is about to happen, your adrenalin gets pumping, giving you a feeling of anticipation? I literally felt like that all day Wednesday, but couldn't put my finger on why, 'cause as far as I knew, nothing important was "in the works". Well now I know why. lol

I'm sure we will miss Jared desperately, but I have a "knowing" in my heart that this is from the Lord. I haven't shared this with Jared yet, but I had much the same experience between my junior & senior years in college...I was living with my brother in OK and wasn't planning on going back to college, due to no money. I had decided to work for a year and then transfer to a Christian college in the Oklahoma City area to complete a degree in social work, which my previous college didn't offer.

The weekend right before school started I drove back to school to hear a beginning-of-the-school-year concert given by their traveling worship team. The Lord touched my heart during the concert, and while talking to my music professors after the concert I broke down in tears. At that point I *knew* the Lord wanted me to stay and complete my music degree.

I drove back to OK and fought against it for a few days, because I couldn't figure out HOW I would pay for it, but He wouldn't give me any peace until I called my professor and asked him if I could resume my studies in the music dept. He not only promised me a job as his secretary in the music dept, he promised me a spot on the traveling worship team as well, which had always been my dream.

I still couldn't see how I would be able to afford tuition, but as I stepped out in faith, the Lord worked out all the details, and the rest is history. And while I have no earthly idea how Jared will pay for college (nearly $20,000/yr), I am confident that as he steps out in faith, the Lord will once again work out all the details.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Happy Birthday, Jared!

Our firstborn turned 19 today. WoW! Just saying that makes me feel reaaaalllly old! LOL The details of his birth are so vivid in my mind, it seems like just yesterday that he was born. But in other ways, it seems like it happened a whole other lifetime ago, know what I mean?

Jared recently told us he wants to take correspondence courses toward becoming a pastor/missionary, instead of going to a 4-yr college. The cost for each of the three different levels of the program will be less than a thousand dollars, instead of over $20,000/yr for Bible college. The levels of the program are the equivilent of associates, bachelors, and masters degrees. He would have to read a series of books and take a test after each book, and each level will take approx. 1.5 to 2 yrs to complete. He can work full-time while he's taking the courses, and complete the work at his own pace. He can complete all three levels, or just one or two. After finishing the first level he would be "certified", after the second level he would be "registered", and after the third level he would be "ordained". Our pastor to the seniors is only "certified", and he told Jared he is able to do everything an ordained pastor can do (baptize, marry, bury, etc) except vote at our denomination's pastoral leadership conferences.

We haven't told Jared yet, but as soon as I receive the next disbursement from my mother's estate (sometime this month), we are going to pay for his first level as a belated graduation gift. Besides our seniors' pastor, who completed the program decades ago, two other men from our church are enrolled in the program right now, so Jared will have several mentors who can help him if need be.

Happy Birthday, Son! I know we don't say it enough, but we love you and are so proud of the godly man you have become, and that you are determined to follow the Lord wherever He leads. May the Lord bless your obedience and devotion to Him!

Friday, August 1, 2008

How do *I* spell relief? P-O-T-T-Y !!!!!

This week we made a lot of progress on the bathroom remodel....since Sunday, we wired the ceiling light/vent fan, prepared and laid the tile floor, and put up the beadboard walls. I started painting and installing some of the trim this morning, but it got so stinkin' hot this afternoon, I had to take a break and do something indoors before I gave myself a heat-stroke. The kids had their VBS program & luau (pig roast) at 6pm, so Paul wasn't able to get anything done on the bathroom until after we got back home at 8pm. But less than 2 hours later, 10 weeks to the day after we started demo on our bathroom, we **finally** have a POTTY! YEAH!!!!! I was given the honors of its first use, but in my excitement, I forgot to bring in a roll of tp. Oops! Ü

Here are a few pictures of our remodeling process....unfortunately, most of the time I was too busy working to bother taking pictures. lol



For a few weeks we had to give Jaden and Luke their baths in a storage tub on the kitchen floor. Not exactly what pioneer families had to endure in the name of cleanliness, but pretty darn close. lol Jaden screamed bloody murder the whole time....he must have been wondering if we were trying to murder him. LOL

Luke wasn't too sure about the storage tub either, but at least he didn't get the kitchen floor and Daddy as wet as Jaden did.






Here are a few shots of Jaden and Luke enjoying their very first bath in our new tub.




We had to bring the hot water in with buckets, and the room still had bare stud walls, plywood flooring, and no door, which made it a bit drafty, but the boys still thought it was much better than a storage tub on the kitchen floor!





Paul is mudding and taping the sheetrock around the tub/shower.








Here are a few shots of what it looks like now. As you can see, we still have a few things left to do....plumb the sink, finish painting and installing the trim, hang the medicine cabinet, wire the over-the-sink light fixture, and strip & repaint the door. But barring anything unforeseen, by this time next week we should be totally finished!





I never would have guessed that it would take us 2.5 months to finish....When Paul told me right after we started demo that one of his co-workers mentioned that *his* bathroom remodel had taken 3 months, I told Paul that it had better not take us that long, or he'd have a very unhappy wife on his hands. Maybe that's why he really poured it on this week. lol





Earlier this evening (right before we got the toilet set), Jason took two of his friends into the bathroom to show it off, and they were all ooo-ing and ahh-ing their approval. hahaha I think Jason is just relieved that we're almost finished, because we told him we'd start on his room next. We're going to put up paneling that looks like bricks on half of the room, then install (not ourselves) new navy blue shag carpet. Janae's room will also receive new pale lavender shag carpet at the same time.

We also still waiting on the cement guy to come back to fix our foundation problem and pour the new patio so we won't get any more water damage in the basement. He promised we'd be next on the list over a month ago, but he hasn't come back yet. Thankfully, the sand bags around the back door have kept rainwater at bay so far (not that we've had much rain over the past month). Once the concrete underlayment for the patio is poured, then we can set the patio tiles and have a cookout, hopefully by Labor Day weekend.

Is it too much to ask that we'll be finished with all of our projects in time to snuggle up for a long winter's nap? lol

Monday, June 2, 2008

Gotcha Day, One Year Later!

Hi all, today marks one year exactly from the day I picked Luke up from his bgrandparents' in New Jersey....can you believe we are still waiting to finalize his adoption?!?! I have an appt with our attorney tomorrow morning to hopefully sign the petition to adopt, and then Paul can sign it on Thursday when he makes deliveries in the attorney's town (30 miles away). I'll be honest, I'm feeling a bit like the actor Bill Murray in the movie "Groundhog Day", reliving the same day over and over and over, with absolutely nothing changing, no matter how hard he tries to fix whatever's wrong so he can move on. I had an appt with the attorney 4 weeks ago, and he assured me the petition to adopt would be ready to sign a week later, but so far, nothing has been completed. Kriminy, how tough can it be? I know for a fact that he has Jaden's petition to adopt on Word Doc, so would it really be too much to ask for him to take 30 minutes of his precious time to make the applicable changes to Luke's, and then print it out? What the heck can be taking him soooo long?

To pass the time while waiting for the adoption papers to be finished, I've been keeping busy shopping for materials for our bathroom remodel. Anyone who has ever done any remodeling can attest to the fact that it usually takes twice as long and twice as much money as you budgeted. Paul and I started demo Friday evening, and we thought we were finished last night, but ds Jared (the one who works for a contractor) gave us the bad news this evening that we will need to take out the subflooring too (it's starting to rot around the toilet), so it's back to demo. Jared also said we might need to replace all the bathroom plumbing, clear up to the roof vent. *sigh* I was hoping to get started on the construction phase this week, but I guess the 9 of us will have to continue sharing one bathroom for the forseeable future.

We borrowed a homeschooling friend's antique grain truck over the weekend to haul away all of our debris, and Paul ran it out to the city dump during his lunch hour today. The total weight of our debris was 1980 lbs. WoW! No **wonder* my back, arms, and hands are aching today! Paul and I both stepped on nails yesterday, so Paul had to get a Tetanus shot today. Ouch! (I had a Tetanus booster a couple of years ago, so I didn't need one.) Both of us have several other cuts & scrapes, and I think I might have broken the middle knuckle on my right thumb as we were breaking apart our cast-iron tub yesterday. My hands are sooo swollen and achy today, I can't wear any of my rings, and you can totally forget handwriting.

Anyway, I'll be sure to snap a picture or two of the bathroom when we're all finished....it's gonna look sooo nice! Ceramic tile flooring, new tub & shower surround, pedestal sink & matching toilet with fluted bases, matching faucets & accessories in brushed nickel & porcelain with "old-time" hot/cold faucet handles, white bead-board paneling up to my eye level (about 4.5 ft), and towels & rugs in pale sage & lavender. I can't wait to see how it will turn out!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Happy Belated 1st Birthday, sweet baby boy!

I know this is a little late, but I was a little preoccupied the last few weeks. Happy 1st Birthday to our handsome little man! I took him to get pictures taken last week, and was a little worried about how they would turn out, because he was being a grumpy goose and only smiled a couple of times. We received the proofs yesterday, and I was pleasantly surprised at how cute they turned out.


Our baby seal

Bright eyes

Happy Birthday, Luke!


Luke's 1st Birthday



So handsome


Who can say no to this face?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

~I Love you, Mom~

(Just checking to see if this trial version will work on my blog before I pay for the full version. The watermark "Evaluation Copy" will disappear on the full version...at least I hope it will.)

In case I failed to contact you with the news, my mother passed away in her sleep in the early hours of April 25th, five weeks to the day after her terminal diagnosis. While we were sad that she went so quickly, we were thankful for the Lord's goodness & mercy in not allowing her to suffer months of additional pain.

I wanted to finish this montage of Mom's life before she passed away, but due to circumstances beyond my control, it wasn't finished until after her death. This viewer is very small and the printing almost impossible to see, but you'll get the idea....the orginial version was full-screen, but I don't know how to make this one larger. Crank up the sound after the "school days" slide, because the second song didn't record as loud as the first one. (And don't forget to turn off the background music at top right, or you'll be listening to two songs at the same time! lol)

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Adoption As Mission Work

I can’t take credit for writing any of this…I copied it from a friend's blog, and she copied it from helpadopt.tripod.com. It so blessed me, because it speaks well about the heart of adoption and what adoptive families experience. Hope you enjoy it!!!

“Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40

Adoption is a great way to help children! God is calling all kinds of families to adopt, and they come from all economic situations. The usual cost for adoption is now tens of thousands of dollars! It is cheaper to give birth than to pay for an adoption, and health insurance won’t cover adoption like it covers a birth. When someone adopts a child, they are making a huge sacrifice. We all need to be ready to help these adoptive parents so they won’t suffer financial difficulties or give up on adoption. In many cases, adoptive parents provide homes for children who might have died or been aborted. Here is a way to help save innocent human lives.

Every child deserves to grow up in a loving family. There are loving families who want to adopt the unwanted children…but sadly the expense of adoption often stands in the way.

There are staggering numbers of abandoned and orphaned children worldwide. These numbers are increasing rapidly because of AIDS, wars, famine, terrorism, politics, and impoverished societies in which parents cannot afford to keep and raise their kids. While sponsorships and orphanage support can improve life for some of these children, there is no substitute for being in a loving home and being part of a family who will love you forever, no matter what.

Adoptive families are missionaries. This is a calling, just as missionary work is. The adoptive families will lead their children to Christ, ensuring them of a good eternity. We should be supporting this in every way we can, including financially. If you are not feeling a call to adopt a child, you can still help with the finances to enable someone else to adopt. What treasure in heaven we’ll have if we help these kids find their way into families!

God invented adoption, and it pleases Him when we care for the fatherless! We were adopted into the family of God, when we accepted His Son as our Savior. Adoptive parents do not experience the usual fanfare lavished upon families who birth their children. There seems to be a sort of discomfort or embarrassment about adoption, and people tend to view it as second best. It is not! Adoption is God’s first-class way to expand families! Please celebrate with adoptive parents exactly as you do with parents who birth babies!

Concrete Ways to Help

1) Donate directly to adopting families. Cash will help them with adoption and travel costs, and gift certificates will help them to furnish their child’s room, choose clothing or provide for other needs they have for their new child.

2) Take love-offerings at church for families who are adopting.

3) Hold fund-raisers such as a garage sale, spaghetti feed, carnival, car wash, bake sale, babysitting, can drive, newspaper drive, candy sale, and so on.

4) Donate frequent flier miles to a family who has to travel to adopt.

5) Have an “orphanage shower” or collections box, providing the needed donations of new children’s clothing, toiletries, and medications the family will need to donate to their child’s orphanage. On top of a large, mandatory, cash donation to their child’s orphanage, they will probably also need to take supplies to help the children who remain there.

6) Encourage an adopting family. Pray, call, send cards, letters, and let them know they are important to you and on your mind. Treat them as you would any other expectant family. Understand that adoption can be even more stressful than birthing a child, because of the uncertainties, financial pressures, and the invasion of privacy required. Adoptive families need you, your prayers, and your love!

7) Host a shower. From newborn to teen, the newly adopted child will need all sorts of things that other kids take for granted. Babies need a crib, high chair, stroller, clothing, diapers, bottles, and toys. For older kids, think big-ticket items like a bed, bike, jacket, shoes, school supplies, toys and games. Adopted kids usually come to their new families with nothing. Imagine having to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a child’s adoption, and then having to scrounge up more money for things like a bed, clothing, and other things. You can help them get a start in life with your thoughtful gifts.

8) Bring meals to the family after they adopt, just as for someone who has given birth. This is especially appreciated by families that must travel great distances to bring a child home. Jet lag is exhausting, especially when combined with the stresses and adjustments of adopting a child. While churches commonly provide meals for a week or two when a family has a new baby, few think to do this for those who have just adopted a child.

9) Offer to help them with child care, pet care, yard work, errands, and house cleaning, just as you would for a family who has added a birth child. Remember how tired this family is after bringing their child home!

10) Welcome the new addition warmly! The family whose mission it is to raise this child will love you for it!

11) Adopt a child yourself! If every family adopted a child, imagine the impact that would have on the Kingdom of God and on the orphans of the world. Seek God about adopting a child of your own. Can it be God’s will for you to fulfill so many scriptures? It might be! Don’t let fear scare you, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. If you are not adopting because you are afraid to, then examine that fear and know it does not come from God. God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!

“Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the brethren and for strangers, who have borne witness of your love before the church. If you send them forward on their journey in a manner worthy of God, you will do well, because they went forth for His name’s sake, taking nothing from the Gentiles. We therefore ought to receive such, that we may become fellow workers for the truth.”
3 John 1:5-8

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen; To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh? Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.” Isaiah 58:6-9


Blessings!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Small praises

Thank you so much for your prayers for my mom and family! Yesterday went so much better than Wednesday, when I felt so frazzled and up to my gills with "stuff" to do that I almost lost my sanity. My brother Rick, his wife, and one of their married daughters & grandbaby met me in the hospice home's parlor before lunch yesterday to discuss Mom's funeral arrangements with the mortician. Brother Ron was "ok" with the preplanning, but he didn't want to participate, and sister Michelle is still AWOL.

We have nearly everything done and paid for, save a few incidentals that we can't take care of until the day of the funeral, like pay the honorariums to the minister & musicians, etc. Rick & wife are going to print up the service programs & acknowledgement cards (they own a print shop), using Mom's high school picture on the front cover of the program, and if I have time, I would like to create a video or powerpoint presentation of Mom's life (if I can find enough pictures). I can't tell you how freeing that has been, to finally have everything completed so we won't feel so bogged down by details after Mom passes away.

My niece & her baby visited with Mom while we talked to the mortician, and Mom was sooo delighted to receive an unexpected visit, especially since it was during one of Ron's work days when she gets so lonely. We finished up all the paperwork in time to eat lunch with Mom, and as we were leaving, she told us we had "made her day". Ü

Just wanted to share these small praises with you...

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Please pray for Todd & Angie Smith

On Monday, April 7th, Todd Smith (a member of the Christian singing group "Selah") and his wife Angie will be delivering their 4th child, a baby girl they have named Audrey Caroline. They have been told by numerous specialists that Audrey will not survive, and they have been leaning on God to help them through their inevitable loss after Audrey's birth.

Todd & Angie have chronicled Audrey's story on a blog named "Bring the Rain"...their writing is beautiful, heartwrenchingly open and vulnerable. Please take the time to read their blog and be blessed by their faith, and join me in praying that the Lord will comfort and strengthen them as they walk through this difficult journey of welcoming and saying goodbye to their precious little girl.

Here is a short excerpt from their latest post:

After all of the anguish of the past few days, and from what we consider very sound medical advice, we have made the decision to move Audrey's due date forward one week. She is now scheduled to be born at 4pm on Monday April
7th.

We beg for your prayers. We need you, warriors.

We are desperate for peace, for unexpected joy, for as much time with her as God would allow, and enough grace for the time that He won't.

We long for her. We long to know the next page in this chapter...to His glory, whatever it may be.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

Philippians 4:7 has been quoted to us so many times as we have walked this journey. I looked it up today to write down and was struck by the fact that Audrey will be born on 4/7. We trust that this was for us to find refuge in, and we do.

Good night, sweet friends. And deepest gratitude.
Angie


http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Long day, good results

I didn't get to bed until nearly 2 am yesterday morning, and then we had to get up at 5:30 to take Jaden in for his ear tube surgery and ABR hearing test. Jaden didn't get out of surgery for over two hours...just as I was starting to get worried, the nurse came out and told us he was doing fine, but the hearing test was taking a lot longer than they anticipated. When Jaden finally got back to recovery he was very combative and screamed for 30-45 minutes, but then Janae started being goofy with his two stuffed animals, and he finally calmed down and started giggling a little bit. The doc said he still needed to go over the test results, but the preliminary numbers showed that Jaden only has a mild hearing loss, so he's not almost deaf like the first doc predicted, which is a huge answer to prayer!

I didn't think to take my camera with us to Jaden's surgery yesterday, but when he was being sooo funny before they came to get him, I had Janae snap a few pictures of him with my cell phone.

Jaden refused to put on his hospital gown until Janae asked if he wanted to put on his new "man dress", then he got all excited and put it on. LOL He kept twirling around and around, watching his "man dress" billow out behind him, like a dog chasing his tail....what a hoot!

Then the nurse brought in a tank of oxygen with an attached albuterol breathing aparatus, and said he needed to have a treatment before surgery, since he has asthma. He screamed and screamed when I tried to give him the treatment while sitting on my lap, so they said to just forget it. But after the nurse left, Jaden picked up the mask and gave himself the treatment, and even shared with his little frog. We tried to get a shot of him twirling around, but he was movin' tooo fast. lol





After we left the surgery center we went to the mall to get Janae a new dress for her trip to New Orleans next week (she's going to a youth covention in Alabama called "The Call"). I also decided to give myself a little "sumthin-sumthin" (a phrase coined by our children's pastor)...I got my hair cut, colored & styled. I think I might have fallen asleep in the chair for a few minutes while the stylist was putting in the foils, and if so, I hope I didn't snore! LOL But it felt SOOOO good to just sit and not have something that needed doing, after the chaotic week we've had around here.

We have seen some improvement in my Mom's overall condition over the last day or two. She's still weak, but she's starting to eat more, and has been talking up a storm to anyone who stops by for a visit. She was getting such horrendously inadequate care at the nursing home that when hospice called us yesterday afternoon to let us know they had an open bed, we jumped on it immediately and had her transferred by 7 pm. My brother from 2.5 hours away even came to help, which was very appreciated.

So....now that my Mom is comfortably settled, and hopefully will be receiving adequate care, I'm hoping my life will slow down just a little so we can get some schoolwork and housework done.

Yeah riiiiight, who am I kidding? LOL

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The prodigal has been found....

A very good friend of mine from California (Carol) found my sister Michelle yesterday. Michelle's ex-husband Danny knew where she was all the time, but she instructed him to not give anyone in the family her contact information, if we happened to call. When Carol called Danny, he gave her Michelle's location, then Carol called and talked to Michelle for over an hour.

Carol has always had a soft spot in her heart for Michelle, and she told Michelle that any time she needs to talk, to feel free to call her. Michelle said she doesn't know if she's going to come see Mom or not...she doesn't want to, but Danny & Carol both encouraged her to come make her peace with Mom before it's too late.

Both of my brothers get very emotional when talking about Michelle, and they have instructed both the nursing home and hospice house to refuse to give Michelle admittance to Mom's room. In my opinion, that decision should be up to Mom, and since she wants to see Michelle, I think we should stay out of it. Granted, I don't think Michelle should be alone with Mom due to her tendency to get angry and scream (and possibly violent) with no provocation, but to deny them the right to see each other one last time seems a bit high-handed.

I've thought about calling Michelle many times over the last few years, but I never did, and the longer I waited to contact her, the more distance it put between us. The only contact info we had for her was her ex's cell phone, and the one time I did call (on Michelle's birthday a few months after she disappeared), he wouldn't let me talk to her. Now the chasm in our relationship seems to be unbreachable.

So, when Mom got sick and I tried to find Michelle, I started wondering, what part did I play in this whole messed-up scenario? Did I love Michelle with the love of the Lord, the "I Corinthians 13--love never fails" kind of love, or did I abandon her in her hour of need because she was "too needy"? On the other hand, when I tried to keep the lines of communication open Michelle wasn't always receptive. I can't think of anything I did that might have offended Michelle right before she disappeared again. And when she stopped responding to my efforts, I gave up....maybe too easily because I didn't care enough to be bothered?

I guess I just need to ask the Lord to search my heart and illumine any sinful thoughts and attitudes I've held against her, and ask Him to give us an opportunity to reconcile our differences in His timing (which I realize might not be right now). It isn't His will for us to live with this animosity between us, so what exactly is my responsibility? I can't go chasing after her if she doesn't want to be found, but is there something else I *can* do? (And these are just thinking outloud, rhetorical questions I'm throwing out here....I'm not expecting anyone to provide the answers....)

Yesterday was a better day for Mom than Sunday, with 40 family members in and out of her room all day. Even though she thorougly enjoyed seeing everyone, it was very exhausting for her. The only glitch we had yesterday was when we were forced to file a formal grievance with the nursing home administrator because the CNA in charge of Mom's care Sunday evening refused to change her colostomy bag before she went off shift, so Mom's bag exploded in the middle of the night. So far I haven't been terribly impressed by the care she's received at the nursing home, so hopefully we can move Mom to the hospice house soon.

Patrice, whose middle name should be "fixer-upper" because of her pathological need to make things perfect

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Trying times

Well, we got very bad news this evening. Mom's doc came into her room while none of us were there and told her she was terminal, and probably only has a month or two to live. (Although, if I had to guess, I'd say that was a very optimistic estimate....from the looks of it, she could pass away any day.) Her colonoscopy this afternoon showed that her colon is totally shot and isn't repairable. Her intestines are like mush, so there's nothing they can do.

After the doc left and my brother came back from wherever he had been, one of the nurses came in and put a red sticker on Mom's arm band. When Ron asked the nurse what it was, she told him it meant Mom was DNR. He didn't know what that meant, so she had to tell him it meant Do Not Resuscitate. It was right at that moment that I called Mom's room to see if they had an update, and when Ron answered, I knew something was wrong because he sounded really weird, then he said he'd have to call me back in a few minutes and hung up. So I dashed around getting the kids something to eat, then Paul and I rushed to the hospital.

I am sooooo angry with the doc, he had no business telling Mom she was terminal when none of us were there to help support her. And to have the nurse put a red sticker on her arm band and then proceed to tell Mom it meant she was DNR was OVER THE TOP insensitive & crass! All evening Mom kept saying she wanted Ron to sit up with her all night so she wouldn't die.

Anyway, my oldest brother is planning on meeting us at the hospital tomorrow morning (he lives 2 hrs away) so we all can talk to Mom's doc together and get some straight answers. We also plan on raising cain on how insensitive he was when he delivered the bad news. Mom said he mentioned something about hospice care, but she wasn't able to give us any other information. So we'll have lots of questions for him tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot...I also have to try to track down my sister, who has been AWOL for almost three years. I called her ex-husband's cell phone yesterday to see if she was still living with him, and he said they had recently separated....they were only divorced "on paper", so she could qualify for disability...she has been diagnosed bi-polar, and has attempted suicide & been hospitalized in mental institutions so many times I've lost count.

Her ex, Danny, who is Israeli and speaks with a heavy accent, told me she was living in Wichita in a homeless shelter. He doesn't know the name of the shelter, and he can't call her, but she calls him every few days, so he'll pass on the info about our mom's health the next time she calls. This whole mess with Michelle will be sooo stressful on all of us....she didn't show up at our Dad's funeral 12 years ago because she was mad at me. It was another 3 or 4 years before we finally tracked her down and "made up". I'm not sure how to track her down this time, but I guess I'll call the Red Cross first and see if they can help us locate her, and if not, then we may be out of luck.

Please pray for our family. The next few days & weeks are going to be very tough and emotionally exhausting....we need to just take it one day at a time and realize that the Lord is still in control....He numbered Mom's days before she was ever born, and this hasn't caught Him by surprise.

Daddy's little boy

These pictures speak for themselves...



Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!

The Lord answered your/my prayers for my mother in a mighty way! I was able to be with my mom & brother during her dr appt this morning, and when the doc told Mom he wanted to hospitalize her for a few days, then transfer her to the hospital's nursing home swing bed unit, neither she nor my brother objected. This was a HUGE miracle! In the past, if one of us ever dared to mention the words "nursing home" in the same sentence as "mom", Ron would blow up and say, "Over my dead body!" So for him to actually agree to this plan can only be an answer to prayer. I think it helped immensely that the doc was sensitive to not give Ron the impression that he wasn't doing a good job taking care of her, it was just that Mom needs more specialized care than what he would be able to provide at home.

Mom told the doc that she had always been very resistant to the idea of a nursing home, but she would do whatever he thought was best so she could get better. So, before she had time to change her mind (LOL), we got her admitted and tucked in her bed. They will be running lots of tests, then in a few days, they'll send her to the nursing home. The doc mentioned that it could take weeks or possibly even several months before she'll be strong enough to go back home, but Mom didn't bat an eye. (I realize she's so weak she doesn't have any fight in her right now, and when she starts feeling better that will probably change, but at least today went off without a huge scene.)

Thank you Lord!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Parenting your parents

One of the many things I hate about getting older is that not only am I still parenting my children, all of a sudden I am now having to parent my parent. I realize it comes with the territory, but I don't have to LIKE it! LOL

My 79 yr old mother was hospitalized about 4 weeks ago because she was severely dehydrated and had a massive infection in her intestines. (She has worn a colostomy bag for 7 years.) She was released 3 weeks ago today, but she is still very, very weak, and my brother Ron, who lives with her, isn't making her take care of herself the way she should.

She is not a very good patient (and trust me, that's putting it mildly LOL), so he gets frustrated with her and just gives up. I really do appreciate him living with her, because otherwise I don't know what we'd do. But unfortunately, he's in denial about how sick she is, and I'm worried that she's not going to get better.

My aunt & uncle have called several times over the last few days to let me know they're concerned, but every time I call Ron he says Mom is "just fine" and getting much better. (Which is exactly what he told me in the weeks before our dad passed away from colon cancer...denial, denial, denial, up to and including the last hour of Dad's life.)

I had a dream early this morning that Mom passed away....on the one hand I hope my dream wasn't prophetic, but on the other hand, maybe the Lord is trying to prepare me for what's ahead (I have had several prophetic dreams in the past). I just don't know what to do. They are both soooo resistant to other people's input/suggestions, but I just can't sit back and let her die.

Jaden has a pre-op appt. at the drs office tomorrow morning, so I'm going to ask them when Mom's appt is and be there (if they'll tell me, stupid privacy laws....grrrrrr!). If the office won't give me the appt time info, I'm at least going to tell the PA during Jaden's appt. exactly what's been going on with mom so she can make an informed decision about what to do for her. I'm sure that Ron & mom will sugar-coat what they tell the PA and not be honest about her condition. My aunt & uncle both told me they think Mom should probably be readmitted to the hospital, or at the very least, admitted to the "swing-bed" unit until she regains her strength.

Anyway, if anyone is reading this, please pray that my mom & brother will be receptive to my help/input, and that her doc will figure out why she's still so sick.

Monday, March 17, 2008

A little bragging.....

Yesterday I was playing peek-a-boo & pat-a-cake with Luke while I was holding him on my lap. I didn't think he would actually respond because I thought he wasn't ready developmentally. But he surprised us all when he brought his little hands together and started clapping all on his own! WHOOOOHOOOOOO! He had such a big grin on his sweet little face, like he was saying, "Look, Mommy, I can do it!" And he hasn't forgotten how to do it since yesterday either....he's been keeping us all amused playing pat-a-cake over and over again this morning.


Friday, March 14, 2008

Jaden's school picture


This was taken just a couple of weeks ago.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Today's math lesson.....13 x 3 (+ 10) = OLD!

Edited to add: Ooops, my bad....13 x 3 = THIRTY nine, not 49! Wow, guess old-timers disease is setting in too! LOL

I spent a fairly quiet 49th birthday today at home with the kids. This morning Jacob sent me an email of "The Birthday Song", Jamye & Jalyn sent me humorous ecards, and Janae bought me a very nice card and a book of Christian historical fiction, "Daughter of Joy", by Kathleen Morgan.

Jalyn actually sent me two ecards....one with a frog theme (of course), and one that said "Remember, age is just about numbers...", and on the inside, it said, "and in your case, it's a LARGE one!" haha She wrote in the message that it wasn't true, but she thought it was "cute", so she sent it anyway. lol In all honesty, at the young age of 13, she probably does see my age as a very large #.

Paul took the kids to pick up lunch at our brand-new Taco Bell, and when they got home with their food, I left to get Chinese take-out. Not that I don't care for Taco Bell, but after last week's visit to TB didn't stay down more than an hour or so, I'm not ready to "go there" again just yet. :>P

After lunch, in between reading chapters of Karen Kingsbury's newest book (Someday, 3rd in the Sunrise series), I also scoured the living room, the kitchen, our bedroom, and the bathroom, hoping to locate my debit card, which I was about 99.99% sure our light-fingered 5 yr old took off my desktop a couple of days ago. I don't normally keep anything remotely important on my desk, due to Jaden's tendency to nab anything that looks interesting (which is pretty much everything in his mind...lol), but I forgot to put my debit card back in my purse after I purchased something online Monday afternoon. And the next time I needed it, it was g-o-n-e, GONE!

I asked Jaden to help Mommy find her card, but being non-verbal, he just looked at me like I was insane and then went back to his cartoons. I made Jacob put away all their toys so I could at least see the floor in their room, but the card wasn't to be found. I was just hoping Jaden hadn't flushed it down the toilet.

Paul had just started to go through the trash can (where Jaden usually stashes his "found" loot) when I had a wild-hair thought to look in the boys' dirty-clothes hamper, and VOILA, my missing card was unearthed! Paul was thrilled that he could suspend his dumpster diving activities, at least until the next item goes missing. LOL

For supper the kids all had left-overs, then after they went to youth group, Paul & I had grilled ribeye steaks, baked potatoes w/lots of butter, and strawberry shortcake for dessert. Heaven! There's only one meal I would've liked better -- lobster dripping in butter -- but since no restaurant in our land-locked, one-horse town sells them, I was forced to "make do" with the next-best thing. Ü

Well, I guess that's all folks...nothing too spectacularly special, but it was still a nice, relaxing day with no basketball practice, no games, no dr or therapy appts, no ER or hospital visits, no parent/teacher conference, etc etc etc, so all in all, I can honestly say I enjoyed my very last 40-something birthday.

TaTa!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Great news!

We got a call from the agency this morning, Luke's amended birth certificate has finally arrived, after a loooooong 6 month wait. YIPPEE!!!!!!!! Hopefully now the SSAdm will get his SS# and SSI applications processed quickly so we can move on to the AAP application process and get his adoption finalized.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Memories

Two of our kids had eye dr appts this week....Jared has been complaining about blurry vision while reading or working on the computer, and after his exam the doc told him he needs reading glasses. Huh? He's only 18, ferpetesake! Guess all that computer time has taken its toll. Jared was sporting his new "look" this evening, and he doesn't look half bad, if I do say so myself. LOL

Janae now has her first pair of contact lenses, which she has been desperately wanting for the last several years. We agreed to pay her fitting fees, on the condition that she would pay for her monthly supply of lenses....babysitting one evening a month will more than cover the $10-20 expense. IF she doesn't lose, tear, or scratch a lens and have to order a new pair.

So, you can probably guess where this story is headed.....Janae was cleaning one of her contacts this evening when she turned to talk to her Dad, and when she turned back around, her contact wasn't still in her palm. Instant panic! Jalyn & Jamye got down on their hands and knees to frantically search the floor around Janae's desk, and of course I had to get in on the action. Paul helped by bringing his flashlight in to illuminate the area, and a minute or two later, I found the contact, clinging to the leg of Janae's desk, almost all the way to the floor. Don't ask me how it ended up there, but it did. Maybe her long tresses brushed it out of her palm when she turned her head, who knows? At any rate, Janae was very thankful I found it, because she only has the one pair, and we're leaving town first thing tomorrow morning for the kids' three-day basketball tournament. She would have been heartbroken to have to go back to wearing her glasses after only two days.

After the near loss of Janae's very first pair of contacts, of course I had to share the story of my first pair of contacts....I was 14 and a freshman in High School. Our gymnasium had a built-into-the-brick-wall drinking fountain, and I foolishly decided my contact needed to be washed off. (Back in the "olden-days" they didn't make soft lenses, I used hard lenses, which could be washed off with plain water.) You can probably guess the outcome of my efforts....the lens washed down the drain. I looked down the drain holes (which if you ask me, were MUCH too large), and much to my surprise, my contact was clinging to the side of the pipe, about half-way down to the elbow where it would be lost to the sewer system forever.

But how to get it back up? We couldn't just open up the pipes, because they were behind the brick wall (what brilliant mind thought that configuration up?). A very resourseful friend suggested dropping a wad of bubble gum on a string down a drain hole, and then pulling the contact lens back up to safety. Theoretically, this was a brilliant plan which should have worked.....but the best laid plans of mice and men.....

We managed to snag the contact on the gum, but it didn't get stuck on very well. We all held our collective breath as my friend gently pulled the string back up the pipe, inch by precarious inch. The thrill of victory was so close we could taste it, but just as we tried to slip the contact through the drain hole, it came loose and fell hopelessly out of sight, never to be seen again....ooooh, the agony of defeat!

Ahhhh, memories. Ü

Strange, yet praiseworthy day....

I just had a very strange day that I hope won't be repeated anytime soon. Yesterday Luke had a low-grade fever and was pretty fussy and clingy, and since he is such a perfect, happy baby normally, I knew something was wrong. He didn't have any other symptoms other than mildly labored breathing, but I thought I should probably get him checked out either at the ER or at the office today, because we're leaving town early tomorrow morning and will be at the kids' state basketball tournament until late Saturday evening. I sure didn't want to be visiting an out-of-town ER while we're gone. I called our dr on call last night, and he said they'd try to squeeze Luke in today if they could, but if they just didn't have time to see him, I should take Luke to the ER today.

So I called first thing this morning and they said they could squeeze him in at 2:45. But they also wanted me to take Luke to the hospital for a chest x-ray sometime during the morning so they could rule out pneumonia (even though I told them he didn't have any congestion). So this is what my day looked like:
  • 7:45....wake up, get breakfast for Jaden and get him dressed for school
  • 8:15....get Jaden off to preschool
  • 8:30....call drs office for Luke's appt
  • 8:45....take shower
  • 8:47....receive call back from dr's office while IN the shower...thankfully, cell phone was conveniently handy Ü
  • 9:00....put in load of laundry for weekend
  • 10:00..take Luke to hospital for chest xray
  • 11:05..get home from hospital, trade Luke for Jaden with car running
  • 11:06..leave for Jaden's speech therapy appt at hospital
  • 11:50..arrive back home from Jaden's speech therapy
  • 12:00..fix lunch for kids, read through a few emails while eating, but no time to respond
  • 1:15...leave for Jaden's ENT appt
  • 2:35...get home from ENT appt (surgery for tubes & ABR scheduled for 3/26), this time trade Jaden for Luke with car running
  • 2:36...leave for Luke's dr appt
  • 3:00...after clearing Luke of pneumonia & ear infection, PA reports that he is wheezing, then inadvertently discovers a large, hard mass in his abdomen
  • 3:15...DR orders abdominal ultrasound and xray, casually wonders outloud to med student if kids w/DS are more susceptible to GI "tumors" and asks him to go check it out on the internet
  • 3:15...discover magical "cure" for sluggish heartbeat and meaning of scripture admonition to "pray without ceasing"
  • 3:20...take Luke to the radiology dept for second time today, they know Luke by first name
  • 3:25...call Paul to ask him to pray
  • 3:35...Paul shows up at hospital to give his support....what a guy!
  • 3:45...Luke has ultrasound
  • 4:30...Radiologist comes into room to check out mass
  • 4:35...sent back to radiology waiting area to wait for xray
  • 4:40...see Dr and med student in hall by waiting area, Dr stops to say he thinks mass is just stool, but realize that Drs don't leave their busy practice to check out ultrasound results unless they're worried it might be something serious
  • 4:45...Luke has abdominal xray
  • 4:55...leave hospital for home
  • 5:00...pull into driveway, receive call from PA to let us know that Drs are 99% sure mass is just excess stool

WHEW! What a roller-coaster day of up and down emotions and feeling like I was being "tag-teamed" by my two youngest boys, shuttling them back and forth between home and hospital. All I want to do now is curl up and sleep til Sunday, but I still need to finish washing and packing clothes for myself, Jaden, & Luke for the weekend, so guess who'll be burning the midnight oil tonight?

But at least once I do get to bed I'll be able to sleep peacefully after hearing the only news I was praying we'd hear....Luke is ok, he's just constipated! Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!

I'd better get moving!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Ministry opportunity

Ok, it's not as glamorous as it sounds....Paul and I have been asked to volunteer in our church's baby nursery. Tomorrow morning we have to -- will be privileged to attend a "nursery workers training" meeting so we can learn how to take care of babies. LOL

This evening we each filled out a 7 page "Ministry Volunteer Application Packet & Ministry Intent Form", which includes general information such as our address & phone #, a section about our Christian experience, another section on our Christian ministry experience, a list of personal references, and last but certainly not least, an authorization for a criminal background check. I'll tell you what, these people take their volunteer ministry positions seriously! Ü One question in the Christian ministry section asked me to list any special abilities that I feel would benefit the area in which I am applying to volunteer. The only thing I wrote was "18 years experience as a mother who has literally changed thousands of dirty diapers." Do ya think that might qualify as a "special ability"? hahahahaha

The completed application will be kept in our "permanent file" at the church. It reminds me of my elementary school days, when every grade in every class, every standardized test score, every visit to the principal's office (and no, I wasn't ever sent to the principal's office, I was a good girl!...lol), every honor and award....all ended up in my "permanent file". All teachers had to do when someone started acting up was to make reference to the offense being recorded for all time in his/her "permanent file", and the offender would immediately straighten up. LOL

Seriously though, we are happy to be used by the Lord to minister to the youngest and most innocent lambs in His flock. There's just something about snuggling a baby close to my heart that enables me to feel the Lord's love & compassion. When I lovingly wrap my arms around Luke and draw him close, I can feel my Father's arms lovingly embracing me. And when Luke smiles up at me, it's as if all heaven is smiling right along with him. No, being a nursery worker isn't the most "glamorous" position in the church, nor is it the most visible. But it may very well be one of the most important, at least in God's eyes. "Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me." Matt. 25:40

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Myths about a diagnosis of Trisomy 21

The following article was published on a blog dedicated to sharing inspiring stories about children and adults with Down syndrome:

Myths about a diagnosis of Trisomy 21...

I get emails or phone calls very often from families who have a new diagnosis of T21. Sometimes it is their friends or relatives who make the first contact. Then soon, the parents are emailing or calling. This has brought me a unique perspective of the entire process of receiving the news of Trisomy 21, Down syndrome, in utero. I would love to share some of the things that are said to me, and clear up any confusion.

Myth number 1: My child will die young, as individuals with Down syndrome do not live longer than the mid 20's. Reality: This is simply not true. Individuals are living well into their 50's and even longer, now that proper medical care is being given to treat heart or other life threatening conditions. Many individuals are capable of employment, living independently, and enjoy many hobbies and activites. See our T21 individuals in the news.

Myth number 2: Your child will suffer. Reality: Again, this could not be further from the truth. Many people in the world require corrective surgery. If your child needs surgery for any reason, the medical care given to individuals with Ds is wonderful. You can expect your child to do beautifully, and continue to thrive. While as many as 30-50% my have a heart condition, only approximately 5% will require open heart. The care of that 5%, by qualified pediatric cardiologists, is remarkable. The remaining 25-45% will have other less invasive procedures, or just be monitored. The cardiac care these days is absolutely amazing!! All other corrective surgery is also incredible. Any medical conditions can be treated today, unlike years ago when treatment was unknown. With proper medical care, individuals go on to live happy and wonderful lives!

Myth number 3: The physicians have told me that my child's Down syndrome is worse than other cases. Reality: This is simply impossible to tell in utero. Or even right at birth for that matter. Even children with many surgical needs have gone on to do amazing things. Karen Gaffney is an amazing example of an individual who needed much corrective surgery, and has gone on to do amazing things. She is not unique, this happens all over the world. I have met soo many families who have seen their family member through medical care, and the individual goes on to do beautifully in every way.

Myth number 4: The physicians have told me my child has a mild case of Down syndrome. Reality: While there are many different abilities for individuals with Down syndrome, a physican can not tell in utero or at birth, how a child will fare. Most instances where an individual has a more difficult time learning or behaving, is indication of a dual diagnosis. Typical children have this exact possiblity. If a child needs corrective surgery, that does not mean they will have severe developmental delays. Individuals with Down syndrome benefit from loving homes, early intervention, inclusive education, appropriate medical care and positive public attitudes.

Myth number 5: Your chances of having a child with Down syndrome increases greatly after age 35. Reality: Yes, indeed your chances increase. But let's discuss the word greatly. When we see the estimated rates in the books, you may see that at age 20 it is 1/1231. At age 25 it is 1/887. At age 30 it is 1/685. At age 35 it is 1/274. And finally at age 40 it is 1/78. So, yes, your chance does increase with age. And boy, when you put it that way, it sure does look like it increases greatly. However, if you were to look at these numbers in percentages, they look a little more interesting. Age 20: .08%. Age 30: .15%. Age 35: .36%. Age 40: 1%. So as one physician said to us, "Leave the guilt at the door", because at age 39, our estimated risk was 1/100. That means it was a 1% chance of having a child with Down syndrome. That means we had a 99% chance of not having a child with Down syndrome. He went on to add, "Who would think to not have a child if you have a 99% chance of this not happening?" Now, to set the record straight, this was the way he put it. We say, "Wow, what a miracle. We had a 99% chance of not having this gift from God. Whew, that was close!" We don't ever want to imagine what our life would be like with our our beautiful daughter. So indeed, the numbers do increase. However, when you look at it from a percentage view point, it sure makes this drastic rise, that many professionals talk about, seem pretty insignificant doesn't it? You have a better chance of having other things happen to you. In fact, there are a lot of ailments we all have a greater chance of having than the chance of being blessed with a child with Down syndrome. One additional point to add to this; 80% of all children born with Ds are born to mothers 35 and under. Many think this happens only to older mothers, since there is an increase. However, as you can see, the great increase is not as great as is told, so with the decrease in women having children at older ages, this makes the number of children with Down syndrome being born more often to younger moms. Numbers are interesting aren't they?

Myth number 6: Bringing a child who has Down syndrome into your family will be harmful to your other children. Reality: Again, just not true! In fact it is just the opposite. Your other children actually have a higher chance of becoming more compassionate and accepting of other people. The benefits have been a best kept secret until Dr. Brian Skotko did a study on the affects of having a sibling with Down syndrome. Another unexpected blessing. Read here for more information. Dr. Brian Skotko's study.

Myth number 7: There is a higher divorce rate for families who have a child with Down syndrome. Reality: While divorce can happen in any family, the studies are actually showing it is currently lower in the families who have a member who happens to have Trisomy 21. Perhaps it has something to do with the many lessons they teach us about life. Click here to see more on this.

Myth number 8: This will ruin your life. Reality: Click on this link to see how this has affected the families who have chosen to write about their experiences. I am sure you will see that this has done anything but ruin their lives. It has indeed been a new journey for all of our families, and one that can require many graces at times. (Show me parenting that doesn't need more at some times!) But ruining our lives... that is simply not happening! An extra chromosome is all it is. The fear of that, is much more paralyzing than the reality. Enjoy your pregnancy! Enjoy your baby!


Hidden Treasures, The Trisomy 21 Journey

Monday, February 25, 2008

Watercolour Ponies

A few days ago Paul was in a nostalgic mood, so he shut the tv down and put in a couple of old cassette tapes....one by Wayne Watson, and then immediately afterwards, another one by David Meece.

One of our teenagers, who shall remain nameless, walked through the room and said, "Who is THAT?!?! He sure sounds weird!" When Paul proudly proclaimed the musician as being a very popular Contemporary Christian artist during our early marriage, our resident connoisseur of "fine music" just sniffed and said in a very condescending, superior tone, "Never heard of 'em", and walked out of the room. The little snot! LOL

I would never add fuel to my teenagers' fire by agreeing with them in their hearing, but even to my ears, those two "oldtimers" from our generation of Contemporary Christian music did sound.....well......OLD! LOL But the message of one song was still just as bittersweet as it was 18 years ago......

~Watercolour Ponies~
by Wayne Watson, c. 1987

There are watercolour ponies
On my refrigerater door
And the shape of something
I don't really recognize
Drawn by careful little fingers
And put proudly on display
A reminder to us all
Of how time flies

Seems an endless mound of laundry
And a stairway laced with toys
Gives a blow by blow
Reminder of the war
That we fight for their well-being
For their greater understanding
To impart a holy reverance
For the Lord

But, baby, what will we do
When it comes back to me and you?
They look a little less
Like little boys every day
Oh, the pleasure of watching
The children growing
Is mixed with a bitter cup
Of knowing the watercolour ponies
Will one day ride away

And the vision can get so narrow
As you view through your tiny world
And little victories can go by
With no applause
But in the greater evaluation
As they fly from your nest of love
May they mount up with wings
As eagles for His cause

Still I wonder, baby, what will we do
When it comes back to me and you?
They look a little less
Like little boys every day
Oh, the pleasure of watching
The children growing
Is mixed with a bitter cup
Of knowing the watercolour ponies
Will one day -- one day
Ride away

After Jared was born, if we'd hear "Watercolor Ponies" on the car radio, Paul and I would both brush tears from our eyes, thinking of how quickly our sweet little baby would be riding away from us, and wishing we could capture those precious moments in time and keep him with us forever.

And now, here we are nearly 20 years later, preparing to send our firstborn child, our baby, out into the world. How can this be? Didn't we just proudly announce his birth to our family and friends? Didn't we just watch him take his first step? Did he just leave for his first day of Kindergarten? Didn't he just hit his first home run in Little League? When did he suddenly become a man?

Our time with Jared is quickly drawing to a close, but even as we drink from this bitter cup, we are so very grateful that he has learned the one lesson we were asked to impart....to have a holy reverence for the Lord. And now Paul and I can be given no greater honor than to proudly stand watch as Jared prepares to mount up with wings as eagles for His cause.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Prunes, the yukky fruit!

(Turn off the background sound at top right
before playing video.)


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Look out Bahamas, here we come!

WoW! This has certainly been the week for good news! We just got word this morning that the Sunshine Foundation has granted Jaden's dream! The Sunshine Foundation grants dreams to children ages 3-18 who have serious illnesses, physical disabilities, or who have been abused. We have decided to use this generous grant to take Jaden & Luke on a cruise for families who have children with Down syndrome.

The 3-night Bahamian "Buddy Cruise" will depart Port Canaveral, FL on October 17, 2008. The event is designed to provide an opportunity for families from across America to come together and bring awareness to one of the most frequently occurring chromosomal deviations, as well as promote inclusion for individuals with Down syndrome.

The Buddy Cruise will feature the talent of Sujeet Desai, a 26-year-old accomplished musician born with Down syndrome. He and his wife Carrie have been featured in Wall Street Journal, Time magazine, and have aired on national TV shows such as The View, 20/20, and The Oprah Winfrey show.

Emily Perl Kingsley, who authored "Welcome to Holland", is scheduled to deliver the keynote address: “Thirty Four Years with Down syndrome. The ‘ups’, the ‘downs’. What I've learned from life with Jason.”

As a writer and activist for children with special needs, her experiences with her son Jason (an actor with Down syndrome) inspired her to include people with disabilities into the Sesame Street cast. She has received 17 Emmy Awards and 13 Emmy nominations for her work on SESAME STREET.

I'm sure I'll be writing more about this exciting adventure as our departure date approaches, so don't forget to check back for updates!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Today's Blessings

This morning we received some very good news in an email from Luke's birth parents. They wanted us to know that they had signed & mailed a release form which will allow our agency to receive a copy of Luke's amended birth certificate, which now lists his full birth name, instead of his last name only. Our agency needed the amended copy so they could apply for his Social Security # and Supplemental Security Income, which we have to get in place before his adoption can be finalized.

Last Sept, after 3.5 months of filling out and submitting reams of paperwork to the Social Security Administration to get Luke's SS#, using his original BC as proof of identity, we were told he would be issued a SS# within 48 hours. But then a few days later someone higher up abruptly changed his/her mind and refused to issue him a SS# until we submitted an *amended* BC with his full name on it, which we were told would take an additional 12-16 weeks! I got so frustrated with the endless bureaucratic red tape that I contacted both of our US representatives to see if they could help. Unfortunately, they didn't help in the least, and probably just managed to make the SSAdm more determined to drag the process out even longer. I finally decided to leave it in the Lord's hands and have faith that it would all happen in His good time.

Anyhoo....it's been a looooong 8 months, and I'm sure the process will take several more, but at least we can finally get this show on the road! Thank you Lord!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Grace and Peace

Our oldest son Jared, our resident computer guru, helped me figure out how to add background music to my blog, isn't it beautiful? (If you can't hear the music, you need to turn on your speakers.) Thanks so much, Jared! After he finished he reminded me that computer techs typically make around $75 an hour. Hmmmm.....are you sure you wanna go there, Jared? LOL

"Grace and Peace" was written by one of my favorite Christian artists, Fernando Ortega. My prayer is that the beauty and splendor of his tender music will quietly usher you into intimate fellowship with our Heavenly Father through His Son, Jesus Christ, and that the Holy Spirit will bring grace and peace to your hearts.

This is what Fernando had to say about why he wrote and recorded "The Shadow of Your Wings: Hymns and Sacred Songs", which includes "Grace and Peace":

"There's too little time for reflection in my life these days--too little meditation and quiet. As everything about our culture gets louder and more "in-your-face", my ability to concentrate on spiritual things feels thin and compromised. These songs were written in response to that dilemma.

My starting point was the morning mass from the The Book of Common Prayer--a pronouncement of peace, prayers of contrition, the bending of the knee. These things bring me to a right perspective of worship.

From there, the record turns to the Holy Trinity--the faithfulness of the Father, the wooing of the Holy Spirit, the sacrifice and supremacy of Christ. I tried to lay these songs out with a liturgical sense, though in the form of a personal devotion, or "quiet time."

My greatest reward in putting this record together has been in finding rich, new beauty in simple Bible passages I have known all my life."

~~Fernando Ortega

Here are a few rave reviews of the album:

~Cross Rhythms Direct
His first release since 2004, this collection of reworked hymns and sacred songs by US-based singer/songwriter Fernando Ortega is simply spectacular. Ortega's main aim for this release is to offer up music of meditation as an antidote to these loud and busy times and, with the utmost skill and precision that is now his trademark, he carries this off in style. The album itself consists of traditional hymns, some of which have been given new music by the man himself, together with a tasteful seasoning of outstanding original material containing expressions of praise that come close to matching the sheer poetry of the hymn writers.

~LifeWay
Ortega’s The Shadow of Your Wings invites introspection, contemplation, adoration, and exultation. There is a sense that we don’t have to "get this over with in a hurry, because we have so much to do." Rather, there is a peace that pervades the music, encouraging you to spend a little more time just being present; there is permission to sit quietly with no other agenda than to perhaps hear the voice of God.

In this moment in history when there are a hundred voices clamoring for our attention, and down time is frequently considered wasted time, it is utterly refreshing to hear someone issue a call to "Come away, my Beloved." With The Shadow of Your Wings, Fernando Ortega does just that.

~CMCentral
Fernando Ortega returns with an album of hymns and inspirational songs to share a sense of gratitude for [God's] providence with listeners. The Shadow of Your Wings...exudes praise in it's purest musical form. From the opening song...which offers a traditional Christian greeting, to the final strains....that closes the album, listeners are treated to an elegant collection of earnest and heartfelt music that worships our Creator.

After a career that spans over fifteen years [Fernando] continues to craft albums that are experiential. The Shadow continues this trend, allowing listeners to feel as though they've stepped into a sanctuary just in time to participate in an endearing worship service. The stripped down production found on the album is entirely unassuming and lends itself to an intimate setting, making this a rather personal album.

Since our world is so busy and filled with appointments and other distractions, it's a real treat to find an album like this to take your mind off of what's coming at you from all directions. The Shadow of Your Wings is like a musical eddy that reminds us to pause and consider the world around us, to thank our Creator for all that He's given us.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Bombing, Abortion, & Down Syndrome

I was horrified to hear the news accounts of yesterday's bombings in Iraq. For the terrorists to use two innocent women with Down syndrome to carry out their evil intents was beyond barbaric. Civilized nations all over the world have condemned these bombings as senseless acts of cowardice.

And yet I feel it is the height of hypocrisy that the vast majority of society today will continue to actively embrace and encourage "termination" of fetuses diagnosed with disabilities encompassing a wide range of severity, including Down syndrome.

Read what prominent Baptist minister John Piper had to say about yesterday's bombings on his blog this morning:

Bombing, Abortion, & Down Syndrome
Posted: 02 Feb 2008 09:44 AM CST
(Author: John Piper)

Al Qaida has moved another step toward western standards of abortion barbarity in using Down Syndrome women to blow boys and girls to pieces. The news is that this was not suicide bombing, but the detonation of retarded girls at a distance.

The disgust one feels for the kind of heart that does this could reveal to England and America how we should feel when we screen for Down Syndrome babies and then kill them. Compare the stories:

Story One: al Qaida

At Breitbart.com (and most news sources), it is reported that yesterday al Qaida used two women with Down Syndrome to bear the explosives under their clothes and then were detonated remotely killing over 70 people.

Two women suicide bombers who have killed nearly 80 people in Baghdad were
Down's Syndrome victims exploited by al Qaida.

The explosives were detonated by remote control in a co-ordinated attack after the women walked into separate crowded markets, said the chief Iraqi military spokesman in Baghdad General Qassim al-Moussawi.

Other officials said the women were apparently unaware of what they were doing in what could be a new method by suspected Sunni insurgents to subvert toughened security measures.

Story Two: Abortion

Medical News Today:
Although no national data are available, the abortion rate of fetuses with the condition [of Down Syndrome] was found to be 59% in one California study and 92% in an English study.

Steve Calvin at Physicians for Life:

I believe that we are at a tipping point. The counterweight to societal support
for people and families with Down Syndrome is the expanding availability and
promotion of prenatal DS screening tests. When DS is confirmed, abortion is
offered. Increasingly, it is chosen. In England and some major U.S. cities,
more than 90 percent of DS fetuses are aborted.”

New York Times, with reference to Detroit, MI:

Until this year, only pregnant women 35 and older were routinely tested to see if their fetuses had the extra chromosome that causes Down syndrome. As a result many couples were given the diagnosis only at birth. But under a new recommendation from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, doctors have begun to offer a new, safer screening procedure to all pregnant women, regardless of age. About 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis have chosen to have an abortion.