After being stung twice by private infant adoption, we decided to go a totally different direction in our search and concentrate on finding a child to adopt through the foster-care system. For those who know the end of our story it may seem like we got a bit sidetracked, but we know the Lord used the experiences we had over the next several months to mold and shape our vision of the "perfect" child into HIS vision of the perfect child.
Remember our original vision at the beginning of our adoption journey? We would adopt a typically developing infant born to a Christian teenager. Then we had to redefine our dream to include a child born to a "different" sort of birthmother. But now that we were exploring adopting through the system, we were opening up a whole 'nother can of worms. The vast majority of kids in the system have suffered abuse or neglect at the hands of their birthfamily, which leaves emotional scars that sometimes never heal. Once again, we were forced to widen our acceptable parameters until our vision bore absolutely no resemblance to the original.
Over the next 8 months we searched each state's photolistings on an almost daily basis, and indentified over 100 different children who we thought might fit well with our family. Several times we were contacted by a child's caseworker, but we were never chosen for any of them. It was soooo frustrating, because here we were, ready and willing to provide a loving home for a child who desperately needed one, but we were rebuffed over and over again.
Unfortunately, we learned through the school of hard knocks that the system wasn't designed to get kids out, it was designed to keep them in so states can keep receiving federal dollars for their care. The sad fact is, children will continue to languish in foster-care until states receive a financial incentive to place children in permanent families.
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