The prodigal has been found....

A very good friend of mine from California (Carol) found my sister Michelle yesterday. Michelle's ex-husband Danny knew where she was all the time, but she instructed him to not give anyone in the family her contact information, if we happened to call. When Carol called Danny, he gave her Michelle's location, then Carol called and talked to Michelle for over an hour.

Carol has always had a soft spot in her heart for Michelle, and she told Michelle that any time she needs to talk, to feel free to call her. Michelle said she doesn't know if she's going to come see Mom or not...she doesn't want to, but Danny & Carol both encouraged her to come make her peace with Mom before it's too late.

Both of my brothers get very emotional when talking about Michelle, and they have instructed both the nursing home and hospice house to refuse to give Michelle admittance to Mom's room. In my opinion, that decision should be up to Mom, and since she wants to see Michelle, I think we should stay out of it. Granted, I don't think Michelle should be alone with Mom due to her tendency to get angry and scream (and possibly violent) with no provocation, but to deny them the right to see each other one last time seems a bit high-handed.

I've thought about calling Michelle many times over the last few years, but I never did, and the longer I waited to contact her, the more distance it put between us. The only contact info we had for her was her ex's cell phone, and the one time I did call (on Michelle's birthday a few months after she disappeared), he wouldn't let me talk to her. Now the chasm in our relationship seems to be unbreachable.

So, when Mom got sick and I tried to find Michelle, I started wondering, what part did I play in this whole messed-up scenario? Did I love Michelle with the love of the Lord, the "I Corinthians 13--love never fails" kind of love, or did I abandon her in her hour of need because she was "too needy"? On the other hand, when I tried to keep the lines of communication open Michelle wasn't always receptive. I can't think of anything I did that might have offended Michelle right before she disappeared again. And when she stopped responding to my efforts, I gave up....maybe too easily because I didn't care enough to be bothered?

I guess I just need to ask the Lord to search my heart and illumine any sinful thoughts and attitudes I've held against her, and ask Him to give us an opportunity to reconcile our differences in His timing (which I realize might not be right now). It isn't His will for us to live with this animosity between us, so what exactly is my responsibility? I can't go chasing after her if she doesn't want to be found, but is there something else I *can* do? (And these are just thinking outloud, rhetorical questions I'm throwing out here....I'm not expecting anyone to provide the answers....)

Yesterday was a better day for Mom than Sunday, with 40 family members in and out of her room all day. Even though she thorougly enjoyed seeing everyone, it was very exhausting for her. The only glitch we had yesterday was when we were forced to file a formal grievance with the nursing home administrator because the CNA in charge of Mom's care Sunday evening refused to change her colostomy bag before she went off shift, so Mom's bag exploded in the middle of the night. So far I haven't been terribly impressed by the care she's received at the nursing home, so hopefully we can move Mom to the hospice house soon.

Patrice, whose middle name should be "fixer-upper" because of her pathological need to make things perfect